Divided Waters: My Hearts Desire

Chapter Nine

Selkie… Hybrid… Triggered Early… Dark side… Anger… Hatred…

Words swam through my head. Playing over and over again as if on a continuous playback. There was no way, no way that I was evil. I was good. I had to be good.

“Mia, Mia.”

“Huh? What?”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Nate, honestly I do not know.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Why?”

“Mia, answer my question! Do you trust me?”

“I think so. Nate, why?”

“Mia, you need answers. Answers that I cannot give you, answers that I don’t think I will ever know. I do know someone who can help though, she can give you your fins too. We need to see the Spirit Guide.”

“Spirit Guide?”

“Yes, she is the guide of all sea creatures great, and small, good, and evil. She will help you find yourself. Your true nature, who your soul says you are.”

“What will happen?”

“You go on a spirit journey. I am not sure what will happen on yours. In mine I faced my greatest fear, and I conquered it.”

“Nate, what was your greatest fear?”

“Being Evil.”

“And you proved your good right? You said that you conquered it.”

“I wish it was that simple, but sadly it is not. I conquered the evil inside me, I have let the good have control, yes. I am still evil, and I will always be evil. I am easily swayed and corruptible. I strive for good, but fail more often than not. I am not pure.”

“Can we leave now?”

“We can leave soon. I need to get Lady Ann and Sanshea. I can’t get us there alone. Will you be okay if I leave you here? You promise you will not move, or run off. I need you to stay safe and out of sight. The city is afraid of you, and until your father does damage control, you are in danger.”

“Yes, I can stay safe and sound right here. Now go!”

I watched as he swam away, leaving me to my thoughts. My thoughts scared me. They were jumbled, and confusing. I felt like I had two beings inside of me trying to get out. I was scared to be alone. I missed Leo no I needed Leo.

Leo,

I am afraid. I am afraid of myself. I need you here, I hate that you cannot be with me. I know I was supposed to give Atlantis a chance but after two days here I don’t know that I can do it.

I wish that I knew how to explain what is happening, I don’t. My people hate me. Everything is just wrong.

Always, and Forever

Mia

I had hoped that writing would help to clear my thoughts. Possibly, even make me feel better. It didn’t though. If anything it made me want Leo even more. I was hurting without my best friend here to support me. He was pure, and good. What was I? Was I evil without him?

‘You are good.’

What the hell, I thought I just heard someone say you are good. That’s it maybe I am losing my mind too.

‘You’re not crazy!’

Wait, the voices understand me. Yep it is official I have lost my mind. All this stress was bad for my health.