Divided Waters: My Hearts Desire

Chapter Twelve

Empty, instead of catching a glimpse of the Great father, or Mother Nature the garden was empty. It was beautiful yes, it captured my attention, and I could feel the hum of magic flow right through me. There was no one here though.

‘Yes there is child. We are here.’

‘Mother Nature?’

‘As some have called me, yes, why are you looking for us?’

‘I wanted to see this place, I wanted to see you without the restrictions. I have only been told you exist yet have been given no proof.’

‘No proof young one, look around you. Look at the birds in the air, the creatures of the sea, the fairies, you and your mere people they are all proof. Where do you think that you came from?’

‘I am not sure, but how can I know something for sure without first witnessing it.’

‘Ah I see child, you believe that you must see in order to believe.’

‘Of course, is there another way to believe?’

‘Let me ask you this, are you a mermaid?’

‘Yes, of course I am a mermaid!’

‘I do not see a tail, so how can I know that you are a mermaid.’

‘My mother was a mermaid, that is how.’

‘Did I watch you mother give birth to you? No, so again how do I know that you are indeed a mermaid.’

‘I just am!’

‘Exactly child, you cannot see us but we do exist. As does true love, and free will, no one has a predetermined destiny.’

‘Then what about my mother, or my father. They each had destinies, and me I am destined to be queen.’

‘Queen, yes child you are meant to be a queen. But are you sure of what kingdom?’

‘Well yea, I am a mermaid princess which would mean that I am going to be a mermaid Queen.’

‘Only if you choose to be, you do not have to be queen.’

‘What is my alternative, I live away from my family in disgrace.’

‘You child have much to learn. I hope that you enjoy your spirit form.’

‘What is that supposed to mean?’

As quickly as I heard her voice, all was once again silent around me. What had she meant that this was all my choice and that no one follows a predetermined destiny? Was it possible that I could choose to be with Leo, could I be a fairy if I wanted to?

I wanted to find Leo today, he was my last goal. I needed to see how he was holding up. Fear sat in the pit of my stomach wondering if he had found someone else, I had only been gone a week, but I knew that those fairy sluts moved fast. I needed to get a message to him. The risk of locking him here was not worth it though.

Floating, again I was floating over my island. It was a fin way to travel, and fast. I never dreamed that I would be able to see, and do all the things in one day that I was doing as a spirit. My form did not need nourishment either which was helpful. Leo was a bright beacon on the island, I could watch him move, and shine like a glowing green orb. Tracking him down was easy.

The sun’s rays danced in his hair, as he sat on the edge of the falls. I could tell that he was lost in thought, yet I could not make out the words that he was speaking. He looked sad, and heartbroken, I felt awful for leaving him here alone.

“Princess, have you learned anything.”

I jumped at the sound of my grandfather. The old centaur moved silently, and was by my side without a single sign of how he had gotten there.

“No, I am more confused then ever. Mother Nature told me that my destiny was not predetermined, and yet I remember you telling me to follow my destiny, and not to fight it. Why are you telling me two different things?”

“Why is your heart telling you two different things? What do you feel when you look at that boy there. That boy that is broken because of your absence.”

“I feel sad, angry, and confused. I love him grandfather, yet deep inside of me I know that the ocean is where I belong. Part of me wants to yell at him, and tell him to get over it I am not coming back, that he is a fairy prince, and should quit acting like a lovesick puppy. That side feels wrong to me though I feel like I have lost my compassion when that side takes control.”

“That is your other nature, which is your evil side. While on land your good side has reigned, you are now of the sea just as much you have two sides in you battling for control.”

“Evil side, why do I have an evil side?”

“We all have an evil side, even your Leo there. At some point in the future he will make choices that benefit no one but himself, and he will say that these are for the greater good, they won’t be, they will be made by his evil side. The same way that you right now are acting on your evil side, not you side for good.”

“I am not acting out of my evil side. I am doing what is best for my kingdom.”

“Are you doing what is best for your kingdom, you just about destroyed it last time I heard.”

“I was angry!”

“That is no excuse you were angry when you had your spirit guide bring you here. Did you know that you are taking my time and not allowing me to help Leo deal with his emotions? All because you are a spoiled rotten brat.”

“Why are you saying these things to me I thought that you were my grandfather, and that you loved me. If you really do love me then how can you say things like that to me?”

“I do love you, but that does not mean that I think you are perfect. You are lost child, and you need to see yourself for who you really are before you can move any further.”

“I just wanted to find myself, and then my hybrid side keeps coming out to play, she scares me. She is the evil spoiled brat.”

“You are your hybrid. She feels only what you feel. She has no rules to inhibit her actions that is why you feel like you have no control. As you find yourself you will find she is not this scary being, but that you and her can work together in harmony.”

“Is that why I am here?”

“Part of it, you are here because you needed to be taught. I tried to teach you as a child but you were so stubborn. You were determined to fight this destiny instead of embracing it. Do you see that your kingdom needs help?”

“Yes, but how can I help them. I was denied my right to a tail. How am I going to be a mermaid queen with no tail?”

“You’re stuck on this whole mermaid Queen thing aren’t you?”

“Well isn’t that my destiny?”

“Child your desiny is to follow your heart. That has always been your destiny.”

“Then my destiny is here with Leo, he is where my heart lands.”

“Can you leave the ocean, and Nate? Can you leave your brother Oliver to run the sea, and rule with his form of justice. If you can forget that and enjoy your life here, then yes you have found your destiny.”

“I can’t do that, and you know that. I hate what Oliver has done to my people. How can I do that if my heart is in two different places?”

“You can learn.”

“Learn what grandfather?”

“Learn to trust your instincts; learn to trust both sides of yourself.”

“How do I trust both sides of myself. It is not like we can communicate.”

“Yes you can, just like you communicated with Leo, or mother nature.”

“My thoughts?”

“Yes, I will leave you with this question; do you belong in the sea or here on land?”