Our Love That Never Was

3. First Heart Break

Then summer vacation came, I was sad cause I won't see you anymore I don't have a phone back then and you don't have a friendster account so communication was impossible but I was okay because I know you love me.

But then again, that's what I thought.

It was march, On the day of our first month, I texted you but you seemed busy cause you were in the hospital for some personal business. I just wanted to say hi and to asked how'd you been, cause I missed you and it was our first month since we started dating but you didn't seem to care much. I would text you and it would take you an hour to reply and your responses were weak. You were cold, though you were not ignoring me but you werent entertaining me either.

I told you, I love you and you didn't replied.

I was sad and confused, but I don't want to be that kind of girlfriend who is annoying and clingy, that nags about everything. So I didn't put much thought about it. Then 2 days later, my classmate, Maggie messaged me on my wall in friendster with matching gigantic glitterized pink font saying

"Hey Janina, Arcy wanted me to tell you that she is breaking up with you"

I was shocked! I couldn't believe it, I thought it was just a bad joke, I mean, seriously Maggie!? That girl could tell me this heart-breaking messege in my wall, with glittered font, how can she be so unsensitive that she didn't bothered to just messege me personally. So I guessed it must be a prank right!??

but it wasnt.
Our love story started and ended for just a month.

I was on denial so I went to your place, demanding for a reason. I asked you if it's true, and you said "yes" then I asked "why?" and you said "I don't know" in fact, your exact word was "ewan".

I said "okay" then I left. I have never felt so much anger and pain until that day.

As I walked away, everything turns black, I couldn't walk straight, the streets were blurred, my eyes were full of tears. I have never cried as much as that ever in my life, that was my first. You're my first heartbreak. I kept thinking why, why did I let myself be taken for granted.

Why did I let myself fall in love with you.

I hated you but I can't stop thinking about you. I wake up remembering what happened and it felt like a knife kept stabbing me from the back going through my heart and it goes on repeat, everyday, every waking moment, all it takes was 2 seconds and I would remember, then the stabbing pain will electrify my body then I would go back to crying. Everyday was excruciating. Even when I found a rebound love, I still felt the pain.

Then another school year came, It was june, I transfered to a far away high school, then one day, my former classmate Athena came to my house, asking me to come to your house. I was shocked and so confused, I mean, I was finally moving on then suddenly you want me to come to your house? You were such a Jerk! If you wanted tell me something, you could have at least come to me, rather than asking me to come to you. To think that you would ask Athena to do errands for you.

But In the end, I still came, I don't why! I hated you but I went to you any way.

I wasn't that shy anymore, I was tougher. We came. We arrived. I went inside your room with Athena and your brother, Leo. Your room was so clean, it was so you. Then surprisingly, I saw my name written on your wall, not just one but a lot. What was that!?

So I went to direct and blunt approach, "Seriously Arcy, why did you invited me here?"

Then you asked "are you in a relationship now?"

I was surprised, that my left eyebrow rose.
"yes I am, and I love her" I said it with an arrogant tone. Then you smirk with a smug look on your face and said "oh so you love her huh!"

"yes! I do love her" I said and I might sounded like I was irritated, though I am. But You seemed angry but all you said was "okay". So I said "okay, im going home".

Then suddenly it rained, seriously!! Like that day could get any more worse! And yeah it did. I didn't brought an umbrella but since my ego won't budge I didn't ask you to lend me one but, The Heck with you !! You didn't even offer!! So I Guess I don't have a choice.

I left and get drench on the rain. I left Athena there cause she was being bitchy about her getting wet from the rain. I was so pissed, angry to you and angry to myself. I basically run down as quickly as I can, I didn't want to stay in the same room with you anymore. We didn't even said goodbye, you didn't even thanked me for coming there, you didn't even apologised to me.

As the rain drops touches my face, my tough facade came off and suddenly I started crying again. It all came back to me on how you didn't really care. I hated you more than I already am. I cried outside your house and you didn't even saw. I was so hurt. Why did I went there? What was I expecting? I don't understand my own thinking! But You!!! why did you even envited me there in the first place?