Our Love That Never Was

6. My room next to yours

A new semester, classes started again.

Me and my classmates have to change rooms in four different buildings. It was torture! Good thing that there's a working elevator cause if not we have to climb up the stairs upto the 6th floor.

I was waiting in line for the elevator with my classmates, then a group of physical theraphy students cut in line. My classmates went wild, "hey, we came here first" then the PT students arrogantly answer "is there a line?". Suddenly everyone was arguing, it was like a crazy courtroom. You see, only 15 people can fit inside the elevator then it should be first come first serve rule but then the elevator door opened and the PT students went inside first, in the middle of the havoc, as they came inside, when they turn around, you were there.

Your hair was down and your a PT student and surprisingly our eyes met but then you shifted your eyes away, it seemed that you were avoiding my gaized but I kept staring at you. As the elevator door closes, you looked at me again, our eyes met and I smiled, you just stared at me with your straight poker face, then the door was close.

I was so curious on where your room is, though I have a crush on you but I'm not a stalker so I'll just let it pass. When I went up to my classroom, you were there again. I started to think that maybe you were the stalker. I didnt looked at you like I always do, I went inside my class and you to yours, and it turns out we're classroom neighbors.

It was every wednesday and friday that we got to be neighbors, and before I know it, I was looking forward to see you. As soon as I told my friends they began to tease me, at first it was annoying but since they tease me everyday, I didn't care anymore and I actually felt that

I liked being teased to you.

I acted liked I didnt knew you, because when I smiled at you, you revert your eyes away, so I thought maybe you dont remember me. It was 4 years since the last time we spoke and our last memory was not good so who would blame you if you wont liked to get involve with me.

It was wednesday on december, I was by myself in the comfort room putting lipstick on and eyeliner then you walked right in. I avoided eye contact and kept on applying makeup, you were washing your hand and it was awkward cause you were like taking so long just to wash your hand. In my thoughts I said
"are you mysophobic?" then I found myself smiling like an idiot. Then you giggled, I stopped what I was doing cause I was surprised. I looked at you through the mirror and discovered that your looking at me too.

"hi Janina" you said while looking at me through the mirror.

"hi Arcy" I said and turned facing you.

I smiled and you smiled back. God!! Your smile was so adorable.

"well .. bye" you said, then you turned around and walked towards the door.

"see you" I said then you turned your head to my direction and smiled. My heart begun to beat fast and I can't stop smiling.  I kept thinking

"what is this?".

After that, we kept exchanging greetings,  it doesn't matter if we're at the hallway, at the comfort room, around campus or anywhere for that matter.

I thought maybe we can be friends, so I step up from small greetings to light pat on the shoulder and to even poking. It began to be silly actually, you would saw me somewhere, it was either I'm with my friends or Im alone, that you would poke me from the back and as I turn around, there was no one there and when I turn back again I would saw you laughing and waving your hand as "hi".

You were so cute! If I could just take a picture of that adorable smiling face of yours, I would but I'm not that daring so its just my wishful thinking.

Exams came and after exams was the Christmas break. So before the end of exams, I hoped that I could at least have a conversation with you. So I looked for you through the exam schedules, I was acting like a stalker which was so funny! I thought to myself "I'm so weird, why am I acting like this?". But still I looked for you.

I saw you in the middle of campus,  probably on your way to your next exam. You were walking too fast and I didn't want to chase you so I shouted.

"ARCY!"

You turned you head and waved at me then you signalled your hands probably saying your going to the next building, so I shouted

"WAIT!" I ran towards you, I have never been embarrassed about running but as I ran to you my face turned red. Then there I was, standing 1 foot away from you.

"yes?" you said while raising your both eyebrows.

"are you going to be late for your exam?" I said while catching my breath.

"no,  I still have 30 minutes" you said while looking at your white baby-g watch.

"oh" ~The HECK!! I lost my words, I didn't even think about anything before calling out to you. You were looking at me with your adorable confused face.

"do you have ah ahmm  a--an extra pencil?" I said, though I don't need a pencil cause I already have three. I just didnt knew what to say so I just blurted that out.

"yeah,  you can have mine since I have two more" you said and smiled then I took the pencil and you said "I need to go".

"okay, thank you! see you next year" I said.

"bye, take care!" you said while walking toward the building then you waved goodbye.

That was my longest conversation I had with you ever since highschool. Then I realized, that I should have said more, all the things I wanted to say rushed in my mind.

I should have told you that my birthday was coming up on the day after Christmas so that I could envite you so we could hang-out during the holidays,
I should have told you that I'm free later after exams if you want to grab something to eat
I should have told you that my exam was hard
or just to ask you to come watch the fireworks with me on the day before new years eve or to tell you that my mind went blank when I'm with you. I wanted to say more. I should have told you more.

I'm so conflicted. I kept thinking

"I wanted to spend time with you but why?"

I have come to realize, that maybe I'm falling for you. All of those little things we did,  I thought it was nothing but I can't deny to myself that maybe

I'm in love with you.