Misery Loves My Company

Breathing

I need to breathe..

I cant breathe....

Why can't I breathe?!

I cant control ANYTHING..

Where is everyone?!

Why is it so dark??

UGH!

I ask the questions over and over again, wondering if I was actually dieing.

For the first time I finally had the chance to die, I didn't want to.

It could of came LATER.

Maybe a FEW YEARS AGO.

But I have a life to live for now...

I need to help Adam with his drug issue...

What if he overdoses to kill himself..

I cant let that happen!

I have a reason to live!!!

I need to live for the band.

They need me.

But I don't know how to escape from this darkness.

Is this really what death feels like?

Is death being trapped in your own thoughts?

But I cant be dead.

I cant die. I just cant. I couldn't.

I refuse. Not now.

Not until I have had my life.

I will come back later in a few DECADES..

But not now.

Then I thought;

What if I had no control over it?

What if I couldnt do ANYTHING?!

What if all I could do was THINK.

I cant feel..

I cant see...

I cant move...

I cant do any action..

I cant save myself.

Just like most of the times I get myself into trouble.

I would need someone to save me....

Wait..

Adam saved me somehow...

From the kidnappers.. How did he save me??

That's a BIG deal.

UGH! How do I remember that? I didn't remember that when I was alive! Why did it have to come now?

And WHY am I getting annoyed about THIS when I'm DEAD.

IM DEAD. WHY CANT I UNDERSTAND THAT.

I should just relax and enjoy the peace.

This IS actually relaxing.

But seriously.. What if somehow someone actually saves me from this DEATH??

Is that possible??

Am I really truly dead??

Like, am I COMPLETLEY dead??

Is my body cold? Or did my heart just stop beating.

Ill never find out until or even IF it happens..

So I'll just relax for a while until I see a sign..

Oh wait.. I cant see.

Well, if I see ANYTHING in the first place that's a huge sign.

Man, I wish I could laugh.

But OH WAIT.

IM DEAD.

UGH IM STILL NOT LAUGHING EVEN THOUGH THATS FUNNY. I WANNA LAUGH DAMMIT.

Oh well.. Uh.. Back to just relaxing..

Okay.. Relax in the peace..

In the death surrounding you...

Rest....