Dark Nights

Chapter 11- Regrets

I am awoken by a pounding headache, and a very familiar smell. I slowly pick my head up trying to not disturb the headache that I already have. I put my feet on the floor and put my head in my hands. Then the memories come rushing in. My mother. I don't really know what happened. I think what I've been feeling for all of my troubling years I felt in that moment, and I took it all out on her. As much as I feel bad for what I did I could never get myself to visit her unless it came to the worst. I get up from the bed and go to the bathroom to wash my swollen cried out eyes. 

I don't like showing weakness. Weakness has always been something that came flying back full force at me. I splash water on my face in Luca's bathroom and wash my mouth out with water. I go downstairs to find Luca on the phone walking around the counter island in the kitchen. He seems stressed out, and very tired. He is wearing a black undershirt with some gray sweatpants. I walk over the the island and sit on one of the stools.

He hasn't recognized me yet, so I sit awaiting for the interrogation I'm about to get on what could of possibly happened. With my head still pounding I lay my head down on my arms and close my eyes. 

"Hey I'll call you later. Yes everything will be fine, I'll be there tonight. Bye.." He says ending the call. I pick my head up from my arms.

"Do you have any Tylenol or Advil I could have. My head is pounding me." I ask Luca.

"Yeah." He says while walking to the cabinet right next to the refrigerator. He grabs a bottle of water and hands me both sliding them across the table. He takes a seat right in front of me. I take the pill, and wait for his questions.

"You feeling alright to go out today?" He asks with a smile on his face. I give him a questioning look.

"You're not going to ask me what happened?" 

"Not unless you speak about it yourself, but if you ever want to talk to me about it or your feelings you know I'm here." He says.

I'm stunned. With the stunt I pulled he has every right to question me. I don't know if I should be agitated that he doesn't care, or thankful that he cares enough to know what happened bothered me a lot. With my headache subsiding all I can do is say,

"Thank you." Because I know whatever we have will have to come to an end. As much as I don't want to admit it I'm going to miss this. Whatever we have I'm going to miss tremendously. Maybe after all he could forgive me, because whatever feeling I have for him, even though it wasn't planned, I feel it. And it's hitting me like a ton of bricks.

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"Duck can we meet up at the gym for like ten minutes." I whisper to Duck on the phone. I'm in the bathroom trying to be quite enough for Luca to not hear. I need to talk to Duck. This whole Luca situation is getting out of hand and I don't know what to do.

"Yeah is everything ok?" He asks worriedly. 

"Yeah everything is fine I'll meet you there in 15 minutes." I say ending the call. I pretend to flush the toilet and turn the faucet on. I walk out of the bathroom to the kitchen. Luca is sitting on the couch on the phone again. I walk to the shoe rack and put my shoes on. I tip toe out the door and close the door as silently as I can. I quickly walk down the hall and exit the apartment complex. 

I walk down the street looking for any taxis. I call one over and hop in. 

"I'll just direct you from here." I say to the taxi driver. 

After I arrive at the corner store I give the taxi driver the money and hop out. I start walking to the gym and run inside the doors, making sure nobody saw me entering. 

"Duck you here?" I call out. 

"Yeah I'm in the back." He says.

I walk to the back and sit down on the mat next to the punching bag he is using. 

"What could possibly so urgent that I needed to be here in 15 minutes." He says while steadying the bag and sitting down Indian style like how I am siting. 

"You know the whole thing with Luca and stuff." I say while playing with my fingers in my lap. It's something I do when I'm nervous. 

"Yeah I know it even though I don't like any idea of it." He says while looking down at my hands. He knows I'm about to say something serious I can see it in his worried expression.

"I umm.. I don't know how to say this." I stutter out. 

"You're getting me worried here Jo. What the hell happened?" He asks.

"I'm starting to really like him." I say quietly.

"I knew it! This is why I didn't want you to get involved with him." He screams out. I'm taken back by his sudden demeanor. "What the hell did you expect to do Jo? Spend time with a guy every day and not catch feelings. Seriously Jo you're being really dumb." He spits out at me.

"Wow ok." I say while getting up.

"Don't wow ok me. You know how this would've gone, and you know how this is going to end." He says while giving me a dry look.

"What do you mean by that?" I say. 

"You really think a fighter for goodness sake, won't be like you're father. He can't even get his anger out on his own. He has to fight people to death to do it. That's why you entered isn't it?" He says. He immediately regrets what he said. "Look I'm sorry I didn't mean to say it like that. I'm just really surprised." He says while trying to reach out for my arm.

I back up, and run out to the doors. Picking up a taxi on the way. I sit in the taxi thinking. Why the hell did I think Luca could be any different? Any different then my father and I. 

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Thank you so much for being patient. I know its really short but I haven't had a lot of time lately to write on my computer. I also don't have my phone fixed yet. I understand I didn't put the part where Luca and Jo went to the party,(in chapter 9) but I was thinking that since the book is about half way finished that I'll put it in one of the "extra" chapters at the end. Much Loveeee