Perfect Little Blue Boy (Percy Jackson)

Chapter Thirteen

Nancy

As much as Grover didn't ever give me a chance, I actually became Percy's friend. It was great because I don't have that many friends anymore. Because I'm gay.

Yeah.

So it was nice that Percy gave me a chance. And he actually got me a girlfriend.

She was really nice. And cute. Her name was Rachel. Rachel Dare. She was an amazing painter.

But it was almost funny. We were practicing one day, and I guess somebody told Bruner that we were doing this production and it was rehursal. We were doing The Campfire Song.

Bruner was with two other men. One of which looked a lot like Percy.

It was right after Percy's part.

"PERSEUS JACKSON!"

It fell silent as everyone turned around.

"Shit," he said under his breath. "I'll be back guys."

He paused.

"Maybe."

Percy

I will die at Zeus or my dad's hand. Chiron is like the dad my dad never was. He wouldn't kill me. Or any demigod.

Now, let me explain that I was already having a shit day. This play was my break from feeling shitty about my life. I was supposed to meet Nico later. We were going to go out for dinner. Now that he's back at camp.

The first thing they addressed: me and Grover not being at camp. Grover moved out of camp. He got annoyed. I don't blame him.

"It's not like I'm required to be there anymore." I told them. "They have plenty of ways to get ahold of both of us if something happens. Can I not have a life?"

"You're breathing." Zeus told me. "You should be doing that at camp."

"That's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?"

"I mean," I tried to explain to two people who would never get it. "Can't I enjoy things? Can't I help my mom and Paul with their kid and make some friends and do things I actually care about?"

"Percy, you say that like you don't enjoy about Camp."

"Well when everyone there hates me, wants me dead," I elaborated. "And when most of the people I was friends with died—"

"So?" Poseidon asked me. "Ignore them. If they don't like you—"

"Yeah, I can't do that." I told them. "I have tried. The camp has turned against me. I'm not going back."

"Yes, you are." Poseidon insisted.

"I'd rather kill myself."

"And you have some choice words to throw in my face?"

Oh, that was a question he shouldn't have asked.

And Chiron noticed.

"Poseidon, I don't think it's a good time to ask the boy about his opinion on you." Chiron mentioned. "Remember, mortals are around."

"No, I want to know." Poseidon insisted. "What are your choice words for me, Perseus?"

I stared him down for a moment. He doesn't deserve it.

"You don't deserve to hear what I think." I informed him.

"So you think you're better than us?" Zeus got the idea, but not really.

"No, I could never handle running the universe." I clarified. "I can barely take care of myself. It'd just would've been nice if you would've said hi every once in a while when I was growing up."

He tried to say he didn't have a choice. But Zeus testified that Poseidon was the one who brought up the idea of abandoning their kids because of the prophecy.

So he was screwed over.

"It's not like your child hood was that ba—"

"Like you would know!" I snapped at this man who dared call himself my dad. "You know nothing about me! My life sucked, and it hasn't gotten any better! The stupid rumor that's going around? That I was raped. Yeah. That happened. On a weekly basis. I tried killing myself when I was 8. Maybe if you wouldn't have claimed me, I wouldn't care. But if you can stick around to get my mom pregnant, there's no reason you couldn't stay around for at least a few years."

"Percy—"

I was turning into the mess they didn't want to see. The fucked up thing I really was.

"I don't want to hear it."

"You don't—"

And I said that I don't fucking care what they think of me. Make me the next Luke. Their next enemy. They can kill me. I won't care. You'll have to deal with my whole three friends that would care.

"Would you shut up!" I yelled at him, which made Zeus and Poseidon step back. Kronos saw this. Once. In sixth grade. When he told me I was getting expelled and I felt like a disappointment.

I still do.

"Okay!?" I went on, all of my pent up anger and frustration and depression was just unleashed. "You have lost your right to call yourself my father! Make me the next Luke! Villainize me! Do whatever the fuck you want, just leave me the hell alone! You weren't around before, wouldn't it just be a waste to even try now?"

I don't remember anything after that. I either had a depressive episode or an anxiety attack. Or both.

Probably both.

When I woke up, though, I was at camp. In my cabin. Nico was sitting in a chair next to my bed. Looked like he hasn't slept in forever. Worried sick.

"Hm?" I asked as I woke up. "What am I doing at camp?"

After a quick oh my god, Nico basically jumped to hug me and I doubt he was going to let go.

"Oh my god, Percy." My boyfriend told me as I suddenly realized how shitty I felt. And I don't even know what happened. "Thank gods you're okay. You've been out for two days and Chiron brought you here by your dad's order and I just... He said that you and your dad had a disagreement and suddenly you went off the rails and then you passed and I don't... What happened?"

I shrugged.

"Zeus and my dad asked why I wasn't at camp." I told him. "I told them I didn't need to be. Zeus kind of backed off. Poseidon didn't. He tried to be too personal and I yelled at him. I told him.he had no right to insist he was my dad after the fact that he wasn't never there and uh... I don't remember anything after that. I must've had an anxiety attack or something."

"That's okay, you're alive." He told me. "Are you okay?"

I was about to open my mouth and insist that I was fine and he wouldn't have to worry.

But I knew he wouldn't believe skmsthjnb like that. He'll worry. A lot. And won't leave me alone. Which, I'm mostly not complaining. There are a few minutes where I will hide in the bathroom or something just because I need space. But he normally gets that I do need space here and there and normally he just sticks to the same room. We just won't talk.

"Um..." I thought about what going on in my head.

"I kind of want to slit my throat."