LOST

30. AADITYA

~ Aaditya ~

The fire had been extinguished before it grew, and fortunately, nobody was harmed.

Except for her.

I stared at her unconscious body, hoping she would open her eyes any second.

I had rushed inside as soon as I got here, fighting the guards that stopped me. Struggling my way through the smoke, I had clambered up the stairs. That's where I had found her. I picked her up in my arms and brought her out of there. Presently, I was outside the bank, with her insentient form. I cradled her head in my lap. I didn't know why she was here. Nor did I know why she sent me that text. All I knew was that it was my entire fault. I shouldn't have left her alone. I shouldn't have given anyone else a higher priority than her.

Someone passed me a bottle of water. I unfastened the cap, poured some in the cup of my hand and sprinkled it at her face. Nothing. I gave it another try. And this time, her eyes fluttered. After blinking several times, they opened, and I let out a huge sigh of relief. She seemed to adjust her focus, because she squinted, and then she stretched her hand above her head and glared at me. In one swift moment, she was sitting straight. In another swift moment, she was standing, her cute figure hovering. I helped myself on my feet.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked her.

I raised my hand to brush her cheek, but she slapped it away. "Don't touch me." Her voice was unfriendly and her eyes were seething in anger, which sent me in a state of perplex.

"Sapna? What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk to you." With that, she marched off.

I followed her and caught her by her arm, turning her around to face me. She wriggled under my hold, but I didn't let go.

"You need to tell me what's bothering you. I promise I will make it go."

"Stop making promises you won't keep. I am not falling to your charming words again, Aadi."

"Sapna –"

"Just stop it, Aadi. You're all words. Nothing more! And I don't want to hear another of your explanations. Go back to dating those chicks! I don't care!"

And before I could apprehend her words, she left.

"What the fuck?"

This time, I was furious. I understood exactly what must have happened. She saw me with Vidhi and misunderstood us. But that was off the limits. She had no right to take my humbleness for granted and throw accusations at my face without even knowing the truth. I was done being nice to her.

Instead of following her home, I went to give tuitions. Halfheartedly, I taught them the characteristic of electromagnetic waves, while my own electrons were in a flurry of emotions; hurt, agitated and vexed at the same time. When we reached the illustrations, my anxiety was at its peak and I couldn't pretend to contain it anymore. So I left my students earlier than usual and headed to the beach myself.

I thought about everything there was to do in that situation. I could apologize to her and ask her for a chance to explain myself. But then again, haven't I done that many times before? I know that I should have told her which friend of mine I was meeting. But then again, wouldn't she doubt me still? She was turning stranger every day and it was becoming hard for me to keep up with those changes. I wanted to tell her the truth but her nature was stopping me. I feared if she would believe me. Because if she didn't, it would break me for real.

And there would be no one to hold me together.

I couldn't afford to hurt myself to that extent. Not again.

So I came up with a plan. I needed to test her. I needed to know her feelings; if all that she spoke was actually what she meant or was the heat of the moment influencing her. From how much I knew her, she could be insensitively tough to someone without bothering about how they would take it, but when somebody else would go all arms and ammunitions on her, she would melt.

I fished my phone out and began typing.

Me: Sapna, here's the thing. I don't give a fuck if you're mad at me or whatever. I just want to let you know that I am not a liar. Nor am I a jerk who loves running behind girls. Yes, I have lied to you more times than one and you have seen me close to girls. But does that only tell you so much about my character? Is that how little and shallow your perspective is? I told you that I dated six girls. I lied. The girl you saw me with earlier? Her name is Vidhi. It is her birthday today. When she was in high school, this was the very day that she lost her parents. Now, I don't know if you know how it feels like to lose your family. But I do. I empathize with her. Just to not let her memories drift to her past, and dwell on when her parents used to be with her, every year since I met her, I spend the day with her trying to make her happy, instead of letting it spoil her mood. I couldn't give her an entire day, but I tried to spare a few hours today. She is the only friend I made in the five years that I was in my college, away from home. She fell in love with me but I didn't. Or better, I COULDN'T. Why, you ask? I already told you before, but here's the reason. I fell in love with a girl when I was younger. And thirteen years after, I still haven't fallen out of love with her. But somewhere between being young, innocent children and growing up, I figure she has changed, and I am left here, alone, to rot in misery. So quit it, Sapna. I am not going to be the victim of your false accusations. Not anymore. Tomorrow, I am going to tell you everything you're here for. And then, you can pack that low thinking of yours with your tiny bag and leave. I do not wish to be a part of your life. And I would be glad if you just marry Rishi and get rid of all that you're feeling for me. I am going to get your train tickets. Goodbye.

After reading it one final time, I pressed the Send button.

It would be stupid of me to wait for a reply, because I knew she believed in face-to-face confrontation. Unlike me, who didn't have the guts to fake it in front of her. Even though I meant every word I wrote, deep down in my heart, I knew I could never think ill for her.

I sat at the beach for hours, watching the sea, and reminiscing the days Sapna and I had spent together, being Angel and Love.

(A/N : Uh-uh. What do you guys think? How is it going so far?

Please vote, comment and share. 

Love y'all.

-Soniya)