LOST

42. AADITYA

~ Aaditya ~

I tiptoed across the queerly silent hallway, praying I didn't get caught. Luckily, I had managed to get a duplicate key to the bungalow when I came in earlier tonight for the dinner. My plan was to sneak into Sapna's room and spend the night with her. I grinned at my roguish behaviour because I couldn't help it.

I knocked twice at her door, softly. One, two, three.. twenty four, and there. The knob turned and she swung the door open. With a smile she acknowledged my presence. I checked her out. She was wearing loose white t-shirt that went down her thighs and stopped right above her knees and no bottoms to go with it. Her black hair was tied into a messy ponytail and her gorgeous face had no makeup applied. Breathtaking.

She spun on her heels and walked away from the door. From me. The way her hips swayed turned me on. I seized her arm and grabbed her by the waist. Her back struck my chest. I could hear her heart beating faster than normal and her shallow, uneven breathing screamed just how much my touch affected her. I buried my face into her hair, slowly tracing kisses down the nape of her neck. My lips grazed her earlobe, nibbling at the end of her ear.

"Aadi," her raspy voice cracked when she said my name. "Stop."

I did. I stopped; but didn't move back. There was an uneasy urgency in her voice that demanded compliance. It was hurtful. But more than that, I was confused. And worried.

She scooted away from me, sauntered towards her bed and sat there, at its edge. She stretched her left hand out and flicked the lights off. She didn't want me to see her burn. But the moonlight piercing through the tall windows made her figure glow. Her shoulders sagged and after a minute, she lied down with her back still at me. She curled up into a ball, drawing her knees up to her chest and burying her face in them. At that moment, she seemed so small.

I wanted to scoop her up and spin her around. Or pinch her nose. Or make that fish face she loved. Or tease her and piss her off.

Fuck, I'd do anything that made her laugh.

Regardless of all that I wanted to do, I ambled along the gap between me and her bed. I pushed some of her cushions aside in order to make myself some space. With the dip I caused in the bed, I felt her flinch as she sucked in a short breath. I lay beside her, then cautiously wrapped my arms around her waist and rest my head on her shoulders. This time, she didn't wince or recoil. Her eyes were wet. Countless needles pricked at my skin at her defeated sight.

"Angel, is everything okay?" I whispered, careful not to sound as perturbed as I was feeling.

"Everything is," she sniffed. "I'm not."

"I'm right here if you need me."

"That's the point. I do need you. And I shouldn't." Her voice was still powerless, yet there was something ruling about it. I wanted to ask what she meant but decided against it, since I sensed her reluctance at continuing. I knew my girl and prodding her would only lower my chances at her opening up to me. So I waited.

"Last night, I saw her – my mother. It wasn't a memory. I know because I wasn't that small girl. It was now. She was talking to me, saying that she was glad that I finally remembered who she was." A pause. "She looked so.. beautiful. She held my hands in hers and smiled at me. A real smile – one that reached her eyes." A sniff. "Her eyes were so tender, and warm, and they held so much love. So, so much. All for me." A breakdown.

Sapna was literally shaking as she hid her face deeper in her knees and wept. I held her closer to me, cradled her. My own eyes stung with the moistness. I knew exactly what she felt. I've been there more times than one. Which was why I also knew that there weren't any words that could comfort her.