Suicide is my Choice

Chapter 9: I Can't

I actually started noticing how sexy Tyler is just until he throws me onto the couch. I quietly giggle as he crawls on top of me push-up position.I take his shirt off, as he takes off mine. He leans in, making our foreheads touch. I hold onto the back of his neck, pulling his lips closer to mine. Of course, I was craving his kisses. I was in the hospital for so long without them. I could feel his hands traveling down to my hips, as he breaks our kiss. The sound around us was filled with our heavy breathing. I got up and felt guilty. I didn't know why, I just did. Probably because of the memory of my uncle and I when I was at the hospital. I couldn't do this.

"Stop." I looked to the side, putting my hands on his chest.

"What's wrong?" He asks worriedly. 

"I-I just can't do this right now.My foot is hurting." I lied.

I got up from the couch and sat back down, looking down at the floor. My hands folded in front of me.I put my shirt back on. I got up and quickly walked to my room.

"London, we can discuss this!" He yells.

"It's nothing Tyler, really." I yell back.

I knew he thought it was him. Why did I stop it? I liked it but I just couldn't do it.He loved me. And I loved him too. I'm so fucking stupid.

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Tyler's POV

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Was it me?

Did I do it?

My mind was filled with questions that I couldn't answer.I put my shirt back on as I ruffled my hair.

I ran up to her room and knocked on her door.

"London, please." I said quietly.

"Tyler, just leave me." She spat.

"London, what's wrong?" I was confused at the fact that we were just making out and she just..stopped.

"Tyler, you don't need to know!" She said, talking louder and louder at the time.

"Open this damn door London." I demanded.

It was silent. I didn't like it at all. I went downstairs to her kitchen and got a knife. I got to her door, once again, and opened the door by just hitting the side with the knife.

"Tyler! What the fuck?!" She yelled, looking up, with her hand all bloody.

"Are you fucking serious?!" I screamed at her, running to get paper.

I slowly cleaned the blood off. She snatched her arm away from me, glaring at me.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" I ask, looking at her angrily.

"Tyler, It's my life.I do what I want." She directed.

"No.You know what? I'm done trying to help you.I always try, but you just push me away. Everyone does bully you, but that's never a reason to cut. Or to harm yourself. Keep daydreaming about Jake, because I don't want you anymore. I never wanted you. So fuck you." I spat venom.

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London's POV

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I felt the tears coming up. The next minute I was crying a puddle. I watched as he walked outside, slamming the door. I ran after him as I held the paper to my arm.

"Tyler wait." I say grabbing him by the arm.

He snatched it away as I suddenly started to cry more. I ran down the stairs, seeing as he was already at the front door putting his jacket on.