Aries: I think I just had a poop child. I legit think I lost 4 kilos.
Taurus: Are there people who are sexually attracted to Pokémon? yes there are i looked it up ;-;
Gemini: I hate it when I'm studying and a velociraptor throws bananas at me.
Cancer: I just went outside and heard someone boo. Update: it was my wife.
Leo: NEVER PUT A SOCK IN A TOASTER.
Virgo: Can Jesus microwave a burrito?
Libra: What are these strawberries doing on my nipples I need them for my fruit salad.
Scorpio: I like to tape my thumbs together and pretend I'm a dinosaur- what did you expect? Some freaky bondage? Nah my mum doesn't approve of that soz.
Capricorn: What do I do if a ginger kid bites me?
Sagittarius: What would a chair look like if your knees were bend the other way?
Aquarius: Why can't I own a dwarf Chinese person?
Pisces: Sometimes when I'm alone I pretend I'm a carrot.
idk what's going on, soz if it's super glitchy, tumblr was being weird while i was c&p'ing this :/
why is this so accurate tho.....
