Danger

chapter 3.

“And when I woke up, he was gone.” I sigh, remembering when I woke up that morning and he wasn’t there to be found. 

"What do you think happened?" 

"I don't know. I wasn't sure if I should have been scared, or just accepted the fact that I knew something like this was going to happen eventually. It always happens to me." I press my hands against my forehead trying to not let flashbacks take over my life again. 

“How did that make you feel?” She says as I let my head fall to the side of the concrete wall and sigh.

“Abandoned. Alone. How would that make you feel?” I ask, finally turning the question on to her. She looks at me with sincere eyes and thinks for a minute as if she has to think about it for a long time.

“I’ve listened to everything everyone has said, I just want to go home. Go back to college.” 

“Jae, you can’t go back to college. We need to find out what happened.”

I sat back against the side of the jail cell closing my eyes. I try and remember anything and everything I can remember but I can't seem to find anything. There's no answers waiting for me. I know Dr. Carter Moore will be interrogating me with questions until she finally gets an answer but I don't want that. I don't even know what happened. I want all of it to end. I don't belong here. The more I think about it or try and think about it, the more it gets worse. I know eventually if I don't talk there won't be anyone on the other side of the cell wanting to talk to me. She was the only person allowed to see me at this time. She was the only one I can talk about my problems too. I really hope she doesn't tell anyone unless it's about what happened. Everything else she really doesn't need to know, but what other choice do I have. There's nothing else to do.

I start to whisper to myself: "Stop it! You don't need this! You don't need this!" 

I can tell she is looking right at me. I don't really pay attention because I'm focused on trying to remember what happened, but I still can't.

I'm not allowed to take a nap or sleep unless I come up with some reasons or results. But I don't have enough strength to make up something ridiculous to try and get some sleep. I really don't need it. What I need is to be out of here.

I start to bang my fists against the wall. I know if I bang them hard enough they will start to bleed. I know that won;t make me get out of here or anything, but I am so frustrated with everyone trying to believe they know what is best for me. They don't know shit!

"Jae, it's okay to be angry and frustrated. I just need some answers. Are you sure you don't remember anything?" I shake my head again and I want to cry but I restrain the tears that I'm now holding back from spiling out. I don't need to cry. That will only make me seem weak.

"Tables have turned." I whispered.

"What?" She says. "Could you repeat that louder?" I shoot her a death glare and she backs away from the cell. I shouldn't be harsh but she doesn't need to know everything. Only the things that help the reason of why I am in here. The fact tables have turned with Caspar and I haven't made a fucking difference...have they?

Hours pass and I still haven't mentioned anything. Dr. Carter Moore starts to take out a blank yellow notepad and a pen and begins to write something on it. I know she is probably writing down our sessions and everything we are saying. I've only been in here for around a day and we haven't said much. I know she is just trying to do her job but it really gets to me. I don't understand why she has to write all of it down. She should only write down the reason I am in here...that is if I remember what happened.

I roll my eyes and start to play with my thumbs again. I can tell she is getting impatient and she wants me to at least say something, but she doesn't say anything. I know she wants me to at least say how I felt about Caspar and maybe that would help me regain my memory, But I don't want to even think about him anymore. All I can think about is getting out of here. 

"I want to get out of here." I huff.

"You can't." She says again.

I want to scream once again but I take a deep breath trying to regain some strength and try and remember what happened the night before. 

After a few minutes in silence, I start to get a flashback. The flashback is very blurry and I can't make out any faces. I can barely hear anything but I can tell that people are screaming. I can hear mine and Caspar's voice, but there is also someone else. I can't tell if it is a man or woman and I don't know if that should really mean anything. I hear screaming and fighting. I can hear someone cry and say "let me go," but I can't tell if it me, Caspar, or the other person I can't really make out. 

I try and think harder and harder and I am starting to get a small picture in my head of what is really going. I want to believe what I am remembering is real, but I don't know if it is my imagination or if I am going crazy. I know some of it is true because I am starting to make out faces. In deed it is Caspar and I, but still can't make out the person. 

I can hear screaming and I can remember I am fighting with someone. I'm rolling around trying to prevent something going on. My flashback get's even more blurry and I can hear metal being scrapped against something. I see the color red before my flashback fades into nothing. I'm starring at the wall and I snap my head towards Dr. Carter Moore.

“I don’t know where the blood came from.”