shadow reapers

the dark side..................and another!?

I once again roamed the empty halls, only this time, I was ACTUALLY a ghost. Like, I physically transformed into a ghost. I wanted to be left alone with myself, my phantom. The thoughts in the back of my crowded mind threatened to consume me.

They were the reason I didn't sleep. They came in the forms of memories, as flashbacks. Only, they weren't of other people. They were of me. I liked to pretend I didn't have parents, because I couldn't recall them, if there ever was a them, existing. It was like, my life started with these full-fledged powers, and I knew how to use them. And it wasn't like I just woke up, alone, like this, it was like,

bam! You're here, you're born like this, this is your world, you have these powers, find I place on this cruel planet, so long, and goodbye. And oh yeah, by the way: beware of the voices. Good luck, you unfortunate petty thing.

And then there are (should I call them images? Yeah, let's just call them images) these images, of me, and the presence of indescribable love, and still, this sterile, surreal feeling, that somehow, that was an alternate reality, that maybe it never existed, that maybe it's just fabricated part of my reality I fail to come to terms with. (Was that a mouthful? Yes, perhaps it is, or am I just plain out delusional?)

So yeah. Pretty dark. I often just don't think about it. I can't drown myself and let my heart win. but someday, I'd be brave enough to let it happen. I'll find a spark, make it enough, to keep me going. When it's dark, and I'm alone with myself, I'll keep glowing.

I brushed against a WELCOME! Poster plastered on the teal wall. The East wing was likely full right now. I'd drifted into the West wing, which was doomed to be empty this week. The chapel was across the hall, so I decided to go. I needed some spiritual time, or whatever you consider that.

I don't believe in any particular religion, but I do believe there is a god. I sat down on the thickly carpeted maple colored floor. I turned out the light, and closed the door. I amplified the darkness with magic. I felt at peace, and I felt that god was close. I also felt that what I feared most was close. someday, I'd let it happen. I'd let go of control and hold together, and figure it out. But that day wasn't today. I forced them away, and felt at peace. But it wasn't done. It threw the thoughts, the sorrow, the misery of everyone, all of the troubled minds I'd been daring enough to enter. I swallowed my weakness, and raged against them. Not today. I grabbed them, and wielded them with an iron fist out the exit.

I asked god for everything to be great. I sat for few minutes, savoring the peace, the closeness to something, someone, ultimately bigger than everything and anything that I could ever possibly understand or encounter.

I lost track of time, forgot what time was. I may have stopped it, I may have slowed it, I couldn't tell, and it didn't matter.

I didn't realize there was someone behind me. I didn't realize I was choking on the overpowering scent of chloroform. Chloroform, and something else. I didn't realize I wasn't conscious anymore, that I had been teleported to a cellar.

I awoke, not very clear headed. Well, crap. That's nice; I've been drugged. I brought up my hand. I flexed it and moved my fingers, as if I didn't know it was my hand. Oh wow. This is my hand. I touched my face. The skin felt softer than normal, probably because my hand loved my face, if hands are capable of loving..............well this is weird.

Than finally, I realized. Well, I've just been drugged. I'm probably in some sort of danger, so I should probably react. My legs were too wobbly to support my weight. Using the wall as support, I sat up against the wall. I had to use my other hand (the normal one) to stay somewhat upright. My weird loving hand touched it, smooth and cold, made from polished pale white marble. The black veins running through it were menacing, as if the blood of dragons, phoenixes, and griffins were trapped in it. Then I came to a horrible conclusion: maybe it is. This person had expensive, luxurious taste. Or perhaps s/he wanted to intimidate h/is/er captive. Hey, I'm rich and therefore powerful. Don't mess with me.