entry 365 ➸ harry styles

XII

a/n: okay, this chapter is probably going to confuse people. BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO THE FUTURE STORY, so please pay attention loves. just like the last chapter, the past is in italics.

happy reading.

tw: abuse

{ meet me in the hallway - harry styles }

i stared blankly out of my bedroom window. lightning cut through the inky night, flickering and dying.

storms reminded me of fire. the dark grey clouds were like ash and soot while lighting was the memory of a fire that once burned bright.

this storm in particular reminded me of the night my father's vicious cycle of abuse came to an end, all because of a crash. a crash that could have ended my life saved me from my father instead.

i kept staring through my teary eyes as i thought of the night.

then

my dad was throwing his clothing into a small duffel bag. sighing each time he bent down, he'd had too much to drink by this point, and he was angrier than he usually was.

"dad, w-what are you doing?" i questioned, staring intently at his face.

he barely even stopped to notice that i was there, but when he did, my words hit him hard.

"do not call me your dad" he spat, looking me up and down.

"what?"

my dad gritted his teeth, letting out an obnoxious sigh before laughing. he rose to stand up, stumbling from the intoxication. he was tall, so intimidating came with his structure.

i on the other hand was not.

he took a swig out of his near empty beer bottle and i cringed at the sight; he was a monster.

"you're weak, pathetic, disgusting. that's not how i raised my daughter to be" his tone was slow and calm, but every word punctured like a knife to the chest.

my eyes were burning, but id be a fool to cry in front of that man. he found pleasure out of my pain, so id never show i was in pain.

he raised his eyebrows at me, waiting on the response. he loved the fight, he loved to see me fall.

i gulped, hard. because i knew what i was about to say would probably make him kill me.

"i must get them traits from you dad, you're all those things. but worse" i laughed, my tone was harsh but nonetheless also calm "you're a coward. you hate what your past hides so you beat me to deal with the pain. you are a coward, its all you'll ever be"

i went to walk away, but i got no where of course.

his hands snaked around my wrists, pulling me around to face him. i tried to pull away, but his grip just tightened.

i could hear my mom stumbling up the stairs, i hadnt realised i shouted so loud for her to hear. but she did. and she knew just as well as my that my dad was going to give the beating of my life because of it.

my dad swallowed, in average cases he would have screamed at me. but that was the first time id raised my voice to him, and the very last time i did so too.

"go get in the fucking car" he breathed, releasing my arms.

my mom eventually made it to the room we were in, she'd taken so long because of the beating she'd taken not so long ago. her physical health had deteriorated, her mental health too.