entry 365 ➸ harry styles

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{ lost on you - LP }

trust.

trust is something id never given anyone, trust was foreign to me.

i never did trust people. as soon as you begin to trust people they either take up and leave or give you a reason to have distrust in them.

but then harry came along, and suddenly i was allowing myself to climb in his car and let him take me where he pleased.

the car was still as we drove down an empty, narrow road. and the heat coming from the in car radiator made me want to choke up.

we came to an abrupt halt before harry turned the engine off. we were on land. outside the car window was acres of land that was fresh and lively; crops were sprouting and hay was scattered in little bails. in the distance there were forest trees which only added to the beauty this place had.

i felt whole.

"myla" harry shouted, startling me out of my own little world. i hadnt even realised he got out. i looked to my right and saw harry tapping away at my window, he was bent down on the other side of the glass to reach my eyes.

i smirked at him before climbing out, and as i did the sunlight hit my skin. it painted my lips red and made my all too pale skin glow with such radiance.

"did you bring me out here to kill me?" i challenged, plastering a small smile on my lips to let him know i was joking.

he chuckled down at the floor, showing his dimples as he did so. he was beautiful, and i wasnt in the presence to deny it. beauty is captivation, its something i simply could not ignore.

whether harry was being rude and insensitive, or kind and caring, i couldnt help but be captivated.

"something like that" he joked back.

through glassy eyes i watched the sun fall behind the horizon, painting the sky shades of red, pink and tinges of the most vibrant orange. all the pain id suffered seemed to vanished. everything. gone.

"do you see those colours, love?" harry asked in the most softest and comforting tone. "they're symbols. showing you the good in which tomorrow may bring".

i wanted to tell him that soon those colours would disappear, and be taken over by a darkness that would overpower everything, which symbolised the pain which tomorrow could also bring. but i didnt, it was better to suffer by myself.

harry looked mesmerised by the sky above us. i wanted him to teach me to be happy. i wanted to look at something as simple as the sky and feel comforted.

"come on, lets walk" harry suggested, holding out his hand for me to take.

i stared down at his hand, it was more than just a gesture. it was him reaching out to me. it was him pleading me to trust him and to let go of every cruel thing he'd said.

i pressed my palm into his and let my trust for him be known.

he began picking up his pace, until eventually we were running ever so fast in the exquisite field.

"look" he stopped running, spinning around on his heel.

"at what? there is nothing but an empty field" i laughed, turning my head in each direction out of confusion.

"exactly, we're alone. we have freedom, no one is watching us."

and in that moment, i felt powerful.

i felt like i had a purpose in the life i was living, the life harry was making me see was worth living.

i let go of his hand, snapping my head to him. i took a few steps back which caused him to raise his eyebrows at me.

and then i began dancing, or at least i say dancing. i was twirling, flailing my arms around on the tips of my toes, spinning in the empty field.

no one was watching, just the guy i wanted to watch.

my fingertips brushed against the long grains of grass, i felt the beauty of nature underneath my very feet and i wa...happy, truly and utterly. i could hear harry's uncontrollable laughter behind me.

"come joi-" i began, but became aware of my impaired leg that was hurt in the accident when i was young.

my dance ended all too short as i fell, landing on my front.

i heard harry mumble "shit" before he came to my rescue, scooping me up his arms. i looked into his glimmering eyes that the sun managed to capture so beautifully.

we looked at each other for a few moments before we burst out laughing, and im sure neither of us knew what we were laughing at, but we just enjoyed the moment.

"im sorry" i apologised, trying to hide my face in embarrassment. but i was still smiling like a child, i couldnt help it.

he slowly pulled my body closer to his, cupping my cheek. i held back a gasp by biting my tongue at his soft touch. i melted into his hands.

it felt welcoming, it wasnt like he was pushing the love away anymore. in the open field it was like he opened up too, he opened up to the fact that he was in love with me, as much as he never did admit it.

this time, when he kissed me, it didnt feel like his lonely temptation. it was raw and warm. we molded our lips together like they were made for that sole purpose.

"all of the problems you're facing outside of this field," harry began, glancing around at our surroundings, "they're just in your head"

but dont you see harry? that was part of the problem.

entry 10;

dear diary,

harry will never admit to loving me, because love is risky. but he isnt pushing me away anymore.

hes accepting that my scars do not define me.

i cant see past his green eyes and i know better to not fully put my trust into him. he holds secrets. dilemmas. i stare at his eyes hoping they'll speak the truth; because his lips speak dirty lies.

➸ ➸ ➸

a/n: okay but i loved writing this chapter, they're both accepting love and its beautiful.

hope you enjoyed loves.

just a quick side note too, HARRY AND MYLA ARE NOT A COUPLE. i know there will be a lot of confusion from the past few chapters - but there is a reason neither myla or harry will label what they have as a relationship.