The Bad Boy Next Door

Chapter 49 - Seconds of Sanity

My eye lids fluttered open a few times before getting used to my surroundings. Blinking a few times, I brought my hand up to my face to rub them. 

Where am I? Hospital? No, I recognise this place. This place is all too familiar. As best as I could, I used my hands to push my body further up the bed so I could sit up straight. In front of me was a balcony, to the right of me was the bathroom.

I'm home. Still in Openhay, but home. 

My head ached and my knees where stiff. Everything seemed to be moving at one hundred miles per hour. Did I dream all of that? Is everything ok and my mind is just playing tricks on me? Everything seems so calm, it seems like just another night. 

The moon shone through my bedroom window and lit up my pure white bed sheets. Don't tell me I dreamt everything with Miles? If I did, my head is one messed up area to be focusing my thoughts with.

Yawning, I lifted my dead arms above my head and stretched. There was a sharp pain in my side which immediately caused me to move my arms back down again. 

I remember the light, the sirens, Layton, the news she had about my father but I'm still un-able to know if it was a dream or not. 

"Hey." A low voice from my left spoke up. I jumped out of my skin. I looked over to see Miles sat in a chair in the corner of the room. He looked like he had been asleep. 

He must have noticed the confusion on my face because the next thing I knew was Miles walking over to my bed and taking a seat next to me.

So I didn't dream about Miles? He is acting friendly, the look in his eyes makes me want to throw myself at him. I have to ask. "Miles, what's going on?" I tilted my head and opened my mouth slighting in order to catch my breath better. 

He looked down at his hands intertwined on his lap, he kept removing the ring that was placed on his thumb up and down. Without looking at me, he sighed, "You had a panic attack," 

A panic attack? 

"What do you remember?" He finally looked up and caught my gaze. His hair was messy, the top of it was going off in all different directions.

"I remember police cars," My heart started to run faster. I know what he's avoiding but I don't know if it's something my mind decided to make up. 

Dad. 

He nodded his head slowly but surely. I could tell he was thinking hard of what to say next. "Do you remember what my Mother told you?" 

I don't want it to be real. Please don't be real. Nervously, I started. "She said... she told me that my Dad had..." 

"Yea," He helped me out. I'm glad he did because that last thing I wanted was to have to say those words. 

"So it's true." I choked up on my words. I'm living a nightmare. 

"Some elements," He position his leg onto the bed so he was closer to me. As a act of kindness and sorrow he brought his hand up to embrace mine. "He's was in hospital, your Mother is there and Angus is with a friend." I don't like the use of his word 'was.'

Angus. 

If the news about my parents before didn't break him enough this is going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back. 

Its weird that when tragedies occur, you think about all the things you did wrong. The things you wish you hadn't said or done. My thought referred back to the text my father sent me a week ago. He loved me, that's all what mattered in the first place. Although the affairs was heartbreaking nothing was like this. If I could just go back in time, be able to text him back, forgive him, tell him that I loved him. I need to go back to the days when we where a family again, the days when we were painting my bedroom and decorating the Christmas tree, the days when we weren't planted in this stupid town. 

But if I wasn't planted in this stupid town I wouldn't have met the most amazing friends. I wouldn't have met Miles. Even though he drove me through the wall, he was there for me. Like he is now.

A tear pricked in my eye. Only a single one. I have a feeling that I am going to be doing a lot of crying in the next few years. 

Squeezing Miles hand harder I looked at him with my blood shot eyes. "He's in the hospital?" 

Miles wetted his lips and clenched his jaw. 

"Is he dead or not?" I cried. Just tell me, get it out of the way now before I break.

"Georgia." He whispered. If I was right, his eyes filled, he was trying to contain his emotions. Although he didn't know my father well, he knew me. 

No, don't tell me. Let me shut my body down. Bodies can reject organs in transplants, why can't they just reject words?

"He didn't make it." He shook her head back and fourth but at the same time I could tell that he was trying his best to judge my reaction. 

Once again, I felt like the lights went out in my head. I'm not passing out, I'm just in shock. I feel like my body is trying it's best to mix all my emotions together so I can feel something but I can't. I am drained, numb. Everything inside is telling to scream, cry, yell but both sides of my brain are fighting and no one is winning. All I can think of is to shut down. 

Words don't come easy, in my case words are impossible. I'm fighting with myself to say something but I have frozen. 

Miles moved over so he was next to me. His muscular arms cradled me and rocked me backwards and forwards. 

And just when I thought I needed him before, I need him as much as ever right now because if he wasn't here, I would thinking that I have died. Is this what death feels like? Is this what Dad went through? A numbness, a feeling of complete panic and shock until you shut off and let whatever is up in the clouds to take you away from this cruel earth.