Mac's P.O.V
7 hours.
I slept on the creaky metal chairs outside the room where she laid. The metal armrests that poked into my spine no matter which uncomfortable position I decided to crouch in. I don't even remember getting a wink of sleep, the wait was a blur. I worried. I worried too much till I wished I could switch of my thoughts; the unimaginable possibilities crept into my mind and I couldn't shake them out. What if. What if?
I tried to deny this had ever happened, maybe if I had pushed harder. How weak am I? I can't even get past a bunch of photographers to save my love. My girl, my whole life - wrapped into one tiny woman. She held my darkest secrets, my hopes and dreams, and my deepest regrets. I couldn't bear to leave her with that burden. Leave her. My heart dropped to my stomach and I started sweating profusely. I wiped my hands on my khaki pants and bobbed my knee up and down to the beat of my heart. Banging against my chest.
No. No, no, no. I'm going crazy here. I look up to see one of the doctors with his hand on my shoulder looking slightly concerned.
"What, what's wrong-is she okay, can I see her now?" I jump up and start to bombard him with questions.
"Sir, she has been transferred to a coma this later afternoon, we can sort out a time for you to visit her. Are you mentally stable sir? Seeing loved ones in that state can shock a lot of visitors, may I remind you- " He replies calmly.
"No, no I can assure you I perfectly fine, Doc. Just please take me to see her now" I plead. He sighs and looks to his notepad.
"Well, I'll double check with the nurses on staff for you" He Nods his head and scuttles away into a mob of urgency.
I sulk back into the the metal chair and stare blankly at nothing.
White.
Bright lights.
Fighting,
To beat out daylight.
Numbness.
Consumed by it,
She's swallowed
By her own body.
Blank.
Indescribable.
Inexplicable.
Words cannot represent,
Depict the state of pain.
Shot.
In the dark.
A flashlight sparks her eyes.
Is it he who she despised.
Now it's better left unsaid.
The words she spits,
Careless unthinkable,
Her story is unread.
"Sir, sir. Sir can you hear me?" A muffled voice reels me back to reality.
I snap into motion and twist my head to the buff security guard on my left.
"Doctor Reynolds allows you to enter room 324 to visit Miss Grande-Butera" He says to me with a blank face.
"T-thank you, please say thanks to him" I force an unconvincing smile and charge through one of the hallways. I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans and start looking for Ari's room.
269, 268. I run back a few doors and turn the corner; 320, 321, 323.
There it is, 324. I take a step forward and grab the handle before someone step in front of me, blocking the doorway.
"Are you Mr McCormick, here for Miss Grande-Butera?" the doctor questions me, raising her eyebrow.
I gulp nervously, "Uh, yeah. That's me, some doctor allowed me".
"Well, if you say so..." The slightly unconvinced nurse steps to the side and eyes me. I grab a hold of the door handle and enter the room so urgently, that when I step inside, I finally realize how worried I am about seeing Ari.
I feel a gust of cold air embrace me as soon go in. An obnoxious beeping sound fills my ears and I walk in slow motion towards the patterned, curtain dimly lit by the hospital lights.
I wait outside the cotton wall, separating me and her. Maybe it'll be fine, it wasn't so bad after all, I try to console myself.
The anticipation kills me and I pull open the curtains. What I had expected was blown out the window. Her skin was pale and bruises were stamped all over her arms. She looked smaller than ever; tucked into a white duvet, cords attached to her arms, legs and face. For the first time, she looked incredibly fragile and weak and helpless.
I was in total shock, I just stood there. Then I crouched down quickly and shook her.
"ARI! IT'S ME MAC, I'm here. Please wake up, Ari wake up for me" I plead, kneeling on the cold floor, "Ari, you're all I have...please".
I start to cry. The feelings, the emotions pour out of me. With Ari not here to comfort me, I'm a mess. I hold onto her limp hand, cold and stiff. Tears make it's way off my cheeks and onto her soft skin. I kiss her on the forehead and pray. I pray to be strong and to get through this and I hope he who is listening will hear my prayer;
Love will conquer if we try, the hate, the fear, we can defy.
Peace shall come, from the heavens above,
Don't hear my sobs, Now hear my cries.
I am so absorbed in my own mind, I dismiss the warm squeeze to my hand. A gesture of love, of life. I suddenly realize, what happened. I open my eyes and look up; there staring me straight in the eye, is love itself.
***
Authors Note
-hey sorry these few chapters haven't been very good, I've had sm assesments!! Stay with me tho, I feel inspireddd <3
