Ari P.O.V.
He slams the door and I'm left by myself, in my empty house; alone. I didn't realize I was scared of being lonely until I really was - I guess you don't know what you got 'til it's gone. I stand still, silent, scared I'll hear myself tremble, shake, fall apart without the support of him. I should feel ashamed, I know I'm hopeless without him but I shouldn't feel that way.
Submerged in everything, I didn't realize I wasn't breathing until you left me to drown.
It's the truth.
I'm given the image of a strong, independent woman but I still need someone to lean on when times are tough. I sprint up to my bedroom and reach the curtains beating against the glass door, the wind in control. Sighing, I walk towards it until I see Mac, speeding off in his Fisker Karma leaving a trail of dark smoke behind him. I sink to the ground and twist onto my back.
Don't leave. Please.
It's the truth. I can't deal with his addictions. But I love him too much to ever leave him, maybe I don't want our kids in an unhealthy environment, or I just can't stand watching him kill himself.
1 NEW MESSAGE*
I roll over and grab the phone out of my hoodie pocket.
Scoot: A?? Where are you? You were supposed to be at the studio 20 mins ago, what's happening
Shit. What do I say? Never mind, I'll just go. My personal life shouldn't affect my work life, though...that's all I ever write about.
A: coming! sorry i woke up late. be there in 10
I part my hair, slip on a pair of skinny jeans and run to my rover with my keys jingling in my hands.
I enter through the back door and see Scooter standing in the recording booth with Max and Savan.
"There you are A, say, where's Mac? He said he'd be here too-" Scooter questions.
"Oh, yeah he, um, woke up sick today. Really sick, high fever, could barely move"
"Awe, tell him I said get well soon. This winter season sure does bring the-"
"I will" I say, trying to sound as believable as I can.
"We all really want to get the lest few verses of Sober, you up for it?" Savan grins.
"Hell yeah!" I shout, jumping into the booth and grabbing the mic. If I distract myself with the little things so it might muffle out the screaming of the bigger things. I wonder what Mac's doing. I know he's loyal to me but I just can't help thinking of what he might be doing. Seeing other women, I get so insecure with my body. They've got big boobs, a big butt and a curvy tanned body and they're still skinny. Me? I'm just a stick, a 24-year-old in a 12-year-olds body.
But Mac insists I'm all he's every wanted. I just hope he doesn't forget - I hope he doesn't let go.
Mac P.O.V. - 5 days later
These past days have been...unproductive. Clock and I have been staying at the studio together and Quentin came over to join us on our journey of lounging, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. Chugging weird drinks and puffing out clouds of smoke till we pass out. It brought me back to the old times, though the memories of DOPE seemed so far away, I thought I had moved on until I realized I was looking right at it.
"Come on dude, a few days being lazy as fuck was fine and chill, but I wanna do something. Like, like I don't know get wasted!" Quentin moans, rolling off the couch onto the carpet.
