Daydreaming About You (Jalex)

Chapter 5 - Alcohol

"Empty bottles, heavy hearts
The memories of broken dreams"

27.4.09

Life were short. Wasting them on the wrong feelings was a mistake, but a mistake you have no control over.
You can mask your feelings on the outside so no one will know you're feeling that preticular way but it won't change anything inside, and Regardless what everyone say; you can't just stop yourself from feeling bad with the power of will only.
What you can do is to find distractions that makes you forget about what made you upset in the first place.

And this is exactly what I did.

It was later that year and our tour was about to end, we only had about three more dates left and I couldn't stop thinking.

Since I had this dream, everytime one of the guys or crew mentioned the kiss joke I brushed it off laughing, But it kept crawling back into my mind afterwards. It wasn't the scary part that hunted me, it was the moment before; when I enjoyed it. We're doing it every a few shows and I keep thinking that I should feel weird after kissing a guy, let alone my best friend but I'm not. They are like any other kisses I had before with girls, even though they aren't exactly real when I'm thinking about it more deeply, we only touch each other for barley a second before pulling away. Of course it wasn't anything but a joke, I know it. But why is it still bothering me?

Maybe it is because he's my best friend, we're so close that its comfortable. I just really need to stop over analyzing everything.

My phone buzzed, cutting me from my thoughts. I looked down to see a new message from Zack saying they're going to a local club before going back to the road.

I was wondering outside the bus, just walking around idly, listening to music. I did it a lot lately when I got to much on my mind. And I liked this time of the day; when the sun already sank but the sky were still brighter on one side and you could see the moon on the other. It makes me calm, like the world is something bigger than me, bigger than everyone and my problems are so tiny in compare. I felt cold breeze getting through my thin shirt and decided it was a good idea to come back anyway.

I text him back saying I'll be there shortly.
On my way back I'm trying my best to push the annoying thoughts to the back of my head. it's been a while since we went clubbing and I'm planning on having a good time.

When I saw the taxi in the parking lot where we parked the tour bus, I rushed forward and opened the door to get in. They all sat inside already and turned their heads when they heard me. "you didn't wait for me for too long, right?"
Alex looked back at me from the front seat, "it took you forever!" he dramatically states. Near me Zack rolled his eyes and besides him Rian chuckled "we just got in a minute ago". I shook my head, sending a playful glare at Alex who only laughed before turning back around to face his window as the car started to move.

"Where were you anyway?" Rian asked after a moment of silence. I turn to look at him "Just went for a walk to listen to some new music." I tried to sound casual, "On the bus I could literally hear you screaming on the Xbox through my earphones" okay maybe it was a bit too excessive but it was indeed one of my reasons so I wasn't lying.