So Long Not Goodnight (A FRERARD Fan Fic)

Chapter 19: the only hope for me is you

Time passed by but it felt like time didn't exist. I wished it didn't and so did Frank because we both knew what time had in mind for us. Dinner had been called out but I didn't want to move, I wanted Franks head to stay on my chest, I didn't want him to create space between us because soon that would be my only option.

"Uh guys? you hungry?" Ray asked on the other side of the door, obviously trying to avoid another awkward situation like last time.

"It's okay , we're not doing anything" I informed Ray. Frank stirred, lifting his head, alarmed. Ray opened the door slowly, a plate of steaming pizza in his hand.

"I brought you guys some food" Ray smiled lightly. I guess he could feel the intimacy of the situation too.

"Thank you man" Frank smiled, trying to hide his legs that were out of his pants. Heat rose to my cheeks as I realised my shirt was on the floor instead of on me. Ray didn't seem to mind, he left the plate at the door and left without another word or gesture. I liked this quality of Ray, he didn't impose, he knew when to leave.

"Pizza?" I gestured to the plate that seemed miles from the bed. Frank looked down at his legs, almost wishing that those cuts he could see would just disappear.

"Yeah I suppose" he slumped miserably. The look in his eyes was hot, focused, the kind of look that he gave when he wanted to distract himself from the truth.

So I did the only thing I knew would distract him.

First our noses met gently, then our lips parted ways to accommodate each other the way that they always did in situations like this. Frank knew what to do now, he led my tongue with his, festering his hands through my hair, moving them up and down my back.

I realised that Frank was already In only his underwear and that brought hotness to my cheeks, because this was the closest to the "real thing" we had ever gotten.

Franks lips trailed down my cheek bone following a trail that led down my neck. I whimpered hopelessly as his wet kisses lingered on my skin, promising goodness and reassurance, two things that would only last in the moment itself.

"Fra-nk" I breathed heavily, disjointing his name. He looked up momentarily, with a gloss of determination in his eyes.

"Yeah Gee? what is it?" Frank seemed to hope that my words were nothing.

"Are we really doing this? are you sure this time...i mean I need to know that you want this too" I blabbed hopelessly, words still caught in my throat. I was nervous, stumbling over my own words to procrastinate the moment from coming. I wanted to be with Frank fully but I was scared.

"Your scared Gee" Frank could see it written all over my face.

"It's okay if you don't want to, I would never force you into it and it wouldn't offend me if you didn't want to" Frank held my hand in his and the heat rushed back into my body.

"I do want to, I do" I replied kissing Franks hand softly. His eyes lit up and the heat rushed to his cheeks bringing excitement through my body.

His warmth quenched my thirst to feel loved and relevant. I grabbed onto Franks arms as his lips danced down my chest, making me tingle and flutter helplessly. I caught my breath as his mouth reached my belt line and then ventured back up to my lips, teasing me. I felt Frank chuckle into my mouth, he could feel my body grow tense with anticipation and I guess the bulge in my pants said enough.

Frank explored my skin softly and slowly, only making me more sexually frustrated then I already was, he could feel me shake with something that I couldn't even name and he played on it.

I led his hands to my pants. The sexual frustration was driving me insane and Frank knew it. His hands slipped so confidently into my pants, shocking me. I breathed hard and heavy into his mouth as he begun to move his hand slowly up and down. His grip was practised and confident, he knew what he was doing unlike me. I couldn't stop myself from moaning, the feeling of his hand against me was to much for my body to handle. The more I moaned the faster Frank went and the better I felt. I bit my lip to stop myself because I was aware of the sound I must have been making and the volume I must have been producing.

"I like it when you make noise" Frank smiled playfully kissing my lips to stop me from biting them shut. I felt my body nearly collapse as Franks hand went faster and his grip became tighter. I let out a loud moan and grabbed onto Franks body for grip. My pants felt wet and warm as I tried to catch my breath and control my breathing. Frank pulled his hand out and cleaned it with a tissue.

Watching Frank gave me a sudden surge of sexual confidence. I jumped onto him eager to make him feel as good as I just had. I removed my pants to get rid of the hot mess that rested on my skin and pressed my lips hard against Franks, his returned the gesture. I could feel his hardness brush up against my leg and the moment from just before returned to my mind, playing over and over again.

I played my mouth up and down his chest and neck until he moaned impatiently in my ear. I went with my instincts and reached my hand into Franks underwear. I was overwhelmed by the feeling of his hardness on my direct skin and gripped as best as I could. The movement of my hand wasn't as practised and rhythmic as Franks was but he didn't seem to mind. His groans made me go faster and grip tighter, his excitement was evident all over his body.

"Holy shit Gee!" Frank moaned as he got close. I smiled and went faster and he grew louder. Wetness smothered my hand, it felt gross but at the same time it was somehow pleasant.

I removed my hand and grabbed some tissues to clean myself up. Franks lips touched my back intimately, sending shivers through my body. I couldn't help but smile.

"That was amazing Gee, I mean I'm not just saying it, really it was" His breath still caught in his throat.

"It was for me too" I smiled turning around to kiss Franks shoulder. I loved Frank so much and nothing, not even death could take that away.

"Can you just hold me while we sleep?" I asked Frank with open eyes, eyes that spoke nothing but the truth.

"I love you Gee" Frank said laying me on his chest. The feeling of Franks skin on mine in places that I had never felt his skin before made me smile ear to ear.

"I love you too Frank" I kissed his lips softly before surrendering my body to his arms as they surrounded me.

There was no doubt in my mind that the only hope for me was Frank.

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