So Long Not Goodnight (A FRERARD Fan Fic)

Chapter 32: The Sharpest Lives

Frank lay there, his chest immobile, his eyes closed.

"Fuck No Please" I fumbled around Franks body for his phone. The stress loathing my blood made my hands shake and sweat making it merely impossible to do anything properly. I grabbed the phone from Franks pocket, I was completely unaware of how long he had been like this, everything was blank.

No reception

"Shit"

I rolled Frank on his front and thought hard,

Think Gerard think!

I began pounding my hands violently on his chest, like they did in the movies. I let myself fall into a respectable rhythm and held my breath.

I opened Franks mouth and blew all the air I could gather into his mouth, having hardly any breath for myself I was pleasantly surprised at the amount I could produce.

A thousand different thoughts furiously thrashed through my mind, I couldn't face Frank dying, I kept my movements motioned and focused.

His chest popped.

Frank spluttered, breath short like death.

But it wasn't death, he was alive.

"Holy shit thank God" I felt my body concave around Franks shoulders. It was the most relieved moment I had ever lived, Franks eyes adjusted themselves to the land of the living.

"What the fuck happened" Frank coughed, he looked like he'd just been hit by lightning. I felt short breaths and emotions get stuck in my throat, things that I couldn't express through words alone.

"I thought this was it, fuck I thought you were gone, you passed out or something... I don't know I wasn't sober enough to remember" I blabbered, squeezing Franks torso tighter. He rested his chin on my shoulder and let the silence of our hearts explode and grow tense.

"Shit, it just went black, I felt nothing it was horrible, I don't want to lose you Gee" Franks tears had become evident and his voice was raspy with this fluent depression.

"You'll never lose me Frank, it's okay now, it's going to be okay" I shut my eyes and wished that those words were the truth, every piece of me wanted to believe them.

"Can we just like lay here a bit, yeah please" Frank seemed unsure of what he wanted to say, I was insure of what he felt and that scarred me deeper than the poison of my past did.

Franks hair tickled the top of my chin, the smell of alcohol and cigarettes so evident on his breath. I felt myself die a little inside, what was I going to do when Frank really did die? this was close enough, too close.

"Hey Gerard, can I ask you something?" Franks voice fatigued and over worked.

"Yeah anything" I replied, intwining my fingers in Franks hair.

"What was it like having two parents?" the question stopped me, it stopped everything, well it felt like it anyway.

"I don't really know" I didn't have any real memories of my family being a family, my dad was always working and so was my mom, plus my father hated me to the bone. It never felt like I had two parents.

"It never really felt like I had two parents, they were always working and my father wanted to disown me, he pretty much did." I finished.

"Do you wish it had been different" Frank seemed distant, but still there, just in control this time.

"Yeah sometimes but then I guess none of this would have happened so every misfortune leads to a fortune somehow right?"

Every misfortune leads to a fortune