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Chapter 53 : Comforting Ian

"You don't have to come, really," Ian said sincerely and I shook my head.

"What if I want to? Your mum doesn't mind my company and she especially loves it when I bring Peaches and Kyle over. She loves being around kids and she reminds me so much of my own mum. I want to be there for her and try to keep her happy," I replied in a low, shaky voice and Ian's face lit up, beaming at me.

Ever since I got to know about Ian's mum's condition, I visited daily. I would bring old, philosophical books from the library and read it to her. I would bring Peaches and Kyle who would enthusiastically show her their picture books. She would sometimes tell me stories about my mum, how they were both good friends before she passed away.

Ian's mum had almost lived her entire life in our town and had lived for a while in London when she was married to Ian's dad. She mentioned wistfully that it was a blissful marriage until some differences came along and they separated.

Ian was clearly a mama's boy and it was awfully sad to witness him take care of his sick mum. There were countless maids, but Ian did most of the work of looking after her. He refused to leave his mother's bedside and I could see why. There were not many days left and it broke me each time Ian's mum hid her pain by smiling. It broke me even more when Ian smiled back, putting up a façade.

"Ian, you should go and get some rest. I'm here, I'll look after your mum," I offered and he looked conflicted.

"No, I-I need to be there for her. She needs me---"

"I know that Ian, but you barely sleep these days. You need to be strong for your mum," I explained carefully and gently touched his arm.

His lips quivered slightly and I pulled him into a comforting hug. I patted his back and he nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck. We pulled away after a few seconds and smiled awkwardly at each other.

"Are you doing well, Ian?" I asked in concern and he chuckled softly.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah, honestly."

"I'm not," he replied nonchalantly and I nodded in understanding. "There's just so much going on. There's fear of losing her, there's guilt of not spending enough time with her, there's sadness of seeing her suffer, there's pride in seeing how bravely she's battling with stupid death, there's . . ."

His voice cracked and I swallowed a lump formed in my throat. "Ian, it's going to be alright soon. I understand that this is not easy for your mum or even for you. It's tough, but I know you both can make it through. I just know that, I see it in both of you."

"Thanks, George," he said quietly and brushed my hair off my face. "I love you."

"I uh love you too," I said in a weird accent and I hoped he knew that I didn't mean it in the other way.

Just friends loving each other.

* * *

"George, where are you these days? And what about college? Are you planning to join the community ones?" dad asked in a worried tone and I sighed exaggeratedly.

"I told you dad already, I want to take this year off," I said stubbornly and a horrified expression flickered through my father's face. "Please, dad . . . Try to understand, I want to figure out what I want to do in life. Besides, colleges have already begun."

Dad looked away from me and walked to the kitchen, his face grave. He tacitly poured tea from the kettle into the mug. He then continued to put sugar and stir the tea with a spoon. There was absolute silence and I slowly stalked towards him.

"Dad?" I called out, but he didn't reply. "Dad? Dad? Please listen to me, don't do this . . . Dad!"

"What is it now? You have planned everything, you're a big girl now. I shouldn't worry about you, should I?" he said grimly in a tone which broke my heart.

I tugged at his arm and questioned, "Am I disappointing you, dad?"

"It's not about me, it's about you George. You can take this year off, but I don't want you to waste this time. I know your mother would want the same for you---"

"I know and I promise that I would never disappoint you or mum. I'll take up these accounts and commerce courses to see if I can work with numbers. I just want to find out what I'm good at. And once I find out, I swear I'll work twice as hard and will make you and mum proud. Heck, I'll make our entire town proud," I said fervently, but dad only half-smiled.

I could see how unconvinced and uncertain he looked, but I didn't blame him. I was always a huge disappointment, unlike my brother. I was always held responsible for all the wrong things and I always somehow managed to get myself and others into trouble. Looking back into my life, all I could see was regret.

Besides, I did indirectly kill my mum, didn't I?

I was about to leave when I heard dad's wavering voice, "George?"

"Yes, dad?"

"What's the deal with you and those rich boys?" he asked in suspicion and raised his eyebrows at me.

I responded guardedly, "Nothing, really."

"Are you with them these days?"

"With Ian's mum actually, she's sick so I was just helping around." I shrugged and tried my best to leave the house, but my dad's gaze kept me rooted on my spot.

"You were with them in London the entire time, weren't you?"

"Yes," I mumbled the truth and dad showed me his phone.

"Your brother sent me these, do you want to explain?" he asked and my eyes flickered to his phone.

There were countless images of Clark and me along with rumours of us dating, getting pregnant, secretly being married, me being called a gold-digger, Clark's affairs, me cheating on him with Ian and so on. The list was endless and Zach had ratted me out completely.

"That little shit," I cursed under my breath and dad stared at me expectantly. "I'm sorry dad, but those are my friends. I trust them, I really do. They're nice people once you get to know them."

"Why don't you be with people of your age? They are five years elder to you, hon."

"You never said this to me when I hung out with Kyle and Peaches. And don't worry dad, there's nothing going on between us. These are just rumours. I won't repeat the same mistake that you and mum did," I said and that silenced my dad.