Saving Brownie | ✔

Chapter 62 : Climax

Two weeks later

"Hey, Ian. Come on in," I said while trying to be as cheerful as possible and he just quietly followed me upstairs, to my room.

He sat on the chair near the desk, right opposite to me while I plopped on my bed. We sat in silence, my gaze fixated at the floor and my fingers softly drumming on the sheets. Ian's face was buried in his hands tiredly and he slowly looked up.

It was like we were mirroring each other's expression. Dark circles underneath our eyes, my eyes were puffy while his bloodshot and a strange kind of sadness looming over our faces. The sadness of losing our own mothers and the respective guilt of not spending enough time with them. This kind of sadness we often saw lingering over Clark's face, but it was too common on him. It was too surreal on us, the people who were always smiling and grinning.

"How're you doing?" I asked Ian while he shifted uncomfortably on the chair.

"Not good," he said honestly and we both sighed. "What about you?"

"Not good," I repeated his words and he smiled sadly at me. "I-I loved my mum and then I-I loved Clark . . . I still do . . . A part of me still . . . loves him and I hate myself for that . . . "

"George---"

"I hate myself," I whispered more to myself and said, "I'm so pathetic. I hate myself for being who I am, I hate myself for nearly being the reason my mum died, I hate myself for loving someone so despicable."

"George, listen---"

"Why would he do that and lie to me Ian? Why would he?" I asked weakly and paused. "My Brownie would never do that. But why did he do that? Why did he?"

"For me," Ian said in a barely audible voice and I blinked at him.

"W-What?" I wheezed and leaned towards him. "What did you say?"

"He did it for me," he confessed and my eyebrows knotted in confusion.

I touched his hand gently and asked, "You shouldn't blame yourself Ian, you did nothing, okay? It's Clark who messed up."

"But he did it for me!" he blurted out while raising his voice and my eyes widened. "He did it for me!"

I withdrew my hand and my body froze. Ian did look cynical, but I couldn't fathom what he was trying to say. Clark killed my mum for him? What? It didn't make sense, none of this made sense and my head started to spin rapidly.

"What are you saying?" I whispered while getting up with Ian who towered over me. "If you're joking then stop. You know it's not the right time."

"I want you to listen to me," he said in a low voice and caught my shoulders which made me take an involuntary step backwards. "Will you listen to me?"

I just nodded, shocked by Ian's sudden transformation. He was so sweet and gentle, but it seemed like he had gone mad now. He looked like he was fighting an inner conflict with himself and he seemed terribly in emotional pain.

"I-I don't know how I can explain this George. . . "

"Just say, please," I begged since I awfully wanted to get this over with. "Please Ian, just say."

He let go of my shoulders and I slumped forward.

He ran a hand through his tousled hair, exhaled loudly and admitted in a shaky voice, "That night I was so terribly upset because maa wanted to stop the treatments of her cancer and I-I couldn't deal with it. There was this slight hope which was snatched away . . . Anyway, so I had to rush to the drugstore to buy painkillers and medicines because she was vomiting continuously and was alone at-at home. I had to go home quickly and I was dr-driving pretty fast-fast . . . then-then on the way your mum . . . I-I didn't mean to . . . I really didn't mean to, but-but I was so scared George . . . So scared that I-I ran . . . I couldn't . . . I shouldn't have . . . But I-I couldn't . . . "

My vision had turned blurry and I could feel his own tears dropping on my shoulders and wetting my sleeves. I couldn't see properly, just the faint outline of Ian who roughly wiped his face. He tugged at his hair like he wanted to pull it apart in frustration and laughed pitifully.

"I couldn't turn myself in, my dad's a jackass who wouldn't give a damn about my mum and I didn't want my mum to suffer alone. She would have been so disappointed . . . I-I wanted to spend time with her as long as-as I could and let her die in peace. I didn't want to let her down and worry more, I-I had to be there for her! I couldn't leave her alone so-so I asked Clark to take the blame on him . . . He came to this town only because of this and if I got caught earlier, he would go-go to jail instead of me. I-I promised him that once my mum died, I would confess . . . "

"I-I c-can't . . . " I croaked while trying to get out of the room, but Ian quickly caught me and pinned me to the wall. "L-Let m-me go . . . I can't . . . "

"No, let me finish---"

"What is there to finish, huh?!" I cried out while struggling under his grip.  "Your mother died two and a half weeks ago! You-You still didn't do anything!" 

"I'm sorry I couldn't!" he shouted, his grip on my wrists tightened painfully and I whimpered. His eyes bore into mine intensely and I could feel fear rising in me. "I didn't want you to hate me! I didn't want you to not like me or-or think I'm someone else!"

I didn't realize that tears were streaming down my cheeks, but I didn't care. My entire body was shaking due to crying horribly. My chest tightened, my throat went dry and I couldn't breathe properly. It wasn't me anymore, I felt so hollow inside like I was almost numb. Almost.

"Did you plant the evidence?" I asked quietly while attempting to breathe and his eyes widened, but he shook his head frantically.

"Clark wanted you to finally move on and we didn't know when my maa would die. So he planted the feigned evidence and the real ones are with me so I-I could submit them with my confession and I swear I will. I won't let Clark suffer because of me and I-I know it's the consequence of my actions to suffer. Clark's in custody till the next trial, so I'll confess right away. We-We will be able to appear before the court faster then," he explained and I kept my gaze to the floor, my body hunched forward and shaking.

He lifted his finger and softly touched my cheek, but I flinched and whispered shakily, "Don't."

He slowly released me and said apologetically, "I'm sorry George, I understand if you don't want to ever see me again, but do forgive Clark. He doesn't deserve this---"

"Get out," I hissed and swallowed, but he stood rooted in front of me. "I said get out!"

Slowly, he moved and I could feel my legs wobble. I fell on the floor because I could no longer stand and leaned against the wall, clamping a hand over my mouth to prevent me from crying loudly. I could still see Ian's shadow looming over me and I looked up with hate and betrayal.

"Get the fuck out Ian! Didn't you hear me?! Get out!" I yelled, threw some random stuff at the door and broke down yet again.

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A/N :

What do you people think of this plot? I hope it's not too basic and I hope you guys enjoyed it so far!

There's only two chapters left, so fingers crossed.