Song of the stars [Slow updates]

Chapter 10: Time to say goodbye

A/N: Not yet edited

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Chapter 10: Time to say goodbye

"Come one baby-bear, time to wake up! It's midday!" My dear mother opened the door to my bedroom with a loud thud and all but shouted and sang at the same time. Then she went for my window and drew back the curtain to let in a burning summer midday sun. I had to squint my eyes, pull up the blanket and turn on the other side, with my back towards the now opened window.

"Let me be, mom. It's summer and there are no more exams for God's sake! And I'm too big for a baby-bear..."

"That doesn't mean life is over. Go out, do something."

Groaning, I stood up. There was no chance I would get any more sleep now with this kind of wake up call.

"I can't stand this anymore. I'm going  to grandma until I'll leave for the mountain resort." My tone was harsh and definitive as I proceeded to enter the bathroom.

It was a custom for mine to go spend the summer with grandmother in her house near a forest. So my parents weren't surprised when after a late breakfast, I packed my bag and went on with my threat.

Once I was accommodated in my room at grandma's house, I took a blanket, my notebook and pen, and went out again. The forest started spreading just across from the house, which is why I liked it here so much; being close to nature is my true calling.

I laid down the blanket and after I seated myself on it, closing my eyes for a bit, I let the nature sounds travel from my ears to my mind and soul. There was nothing more pleasant than listening to the wind sweeping the leafs, the birds singing and the dogs barking, feeling the sun warming up your skin and smelling the dry weed.

With all my senses highlighted, my mind was spinning with thoughts again.

"Between my personal ideal (of being a successful person) and our common ideal (of finding happiness), there is one connection: a happy person is a successful person and not the other way around. Being happy and being accomplished, successful, is not the same thing. Happiness is much more than success. Happiness includes finding your soul mate and having a true love with you, while success only means an accomplished career, a desirable social life and maybe money to have everything you wish for.

I admit I am scarred of hoping to find happiness and this is why, a lot of times, I settle for finding success only. Other times, however, I have the courage to dream and I venture on a path just to come back to the start point all wrinkled.

Kevin is different: he rarely has moments when we feels like giving up and he doesn't care about those wrinkles. He's optimist, I am pessimist. But lately, I can see a little light of optimism in myself too. This is all his doing: he, Kevin, brought in my life all the optimism that I have.

We are so different that together we could form that ideal-being that could walk the path towards happiness being surrounded by light… I mean that ideal path which doesn't go to the right or to the left, but straight ahead. I am scarred of perfection, I am scarred of truth, and I am scarred of happiness. This is why it's all tragic: because I fear the absolute."

When I opened my eyes again, I took the pen and began writing again.

***

The car accident happened in May last year. It was, for sure, an enlightening experience. After that, I got busy with school finals for a while, but then, when junior high ended, I simply had too much free time. And too much free time inevitably led to me spending it by talking with Kevin. His caring nature mixed up with sarcasm and cockiness, is what eventually made me realize that I've never felt like this with anyone before.