Song of the stars [Slow updates]

Chapter 2: A star is born

A/N: Not yet edited

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Chapter 2: A star is born

As the darkness of the night draped over, I put the now not so empty notebook at the bottom of my left side drawer. In its place, I opened my history book. The sound of pages turning penetrates the silence until my fingers stop at chapter 19: World War II.

Trying to learn something after those emotionally charged hours I simply a futile attempt. I read, but the words don't register.

Luckily, I can afford taking a break from memorizing all the names and years of national heroes and battles. I finished all the materials for the exams, I've been learning and revising them a few times already, so I just need to do this one more time and take a few tests.

Leaning back into my chair, I brought my feet up and tucked them under my bottom. It's a strange position to have on a chair - most people sit like that on a bed, but I'm so small that I can still pull it off. Now that I'm relaxed, I lam letting  my mind wander, or, better said, I can't stop it from wandering.

A couple of times Kevin suggested that I should go to a university in the capital. My parents don't even want to hear of such thing and I understand them: I would not have money to sustain myself there and it would be kind of dangerous for their only daughter to go by herself so far in a city full of criminality, a city with a great tumult, capital of a country who misunderstood democracy, in the condition in which I actually grew up in a calm and civilized town.

There, the filth is staggering, poverty, hooliganism and vagabondage are ordinary things, but even worse is the fact that you can't take two steps on the street without the fear that you will be attacked by a burglar or a rapper.

I was now chewing on my pen, my gaze nowhere in particular, and the opened history book long forgotten.

For Kevin, it seems to be the city of all possibilities. Well, that's why it is the capital, right? But he also said that a friend of his died this year because of an overdose.

Sometimes I wonder why Kevin lives in this city… he is so different… he has such a sensible soul…and yet the big city is good for his desire of fame. What can I say: he didn't finished college yet but already has a nice job and even established his own business.

For me, however, being closer to the west side of the country is better. I live in a city that is a prestigious academic center, perfect for the carrier I want to pursue.

Just as if he felt I was thinking about him, Kevin decided to send me a text. I mean, who else could be at this hour? Grabbing the glowing telephone from the desk, I opened up the inbox.

"Love me or hate me, but don't ignore me."

That's all it said, but it was enough to make me feel horrible. Like a punch in my chest, for a minute there, I found it hard to breath. It hurts to know that he wants so badly to talk to me. I don't want to make him miss me, but I have to. Nothing good can come out of our friendship.

It is obvious to me that once I will enter college here, I will catch roots and I don't know how and when I'm going to see Kevin again.

Why is this happening to me? Am I paying for past mistakes? I can't hold on anymore and I might do something stupid if I can't find a drop of happiness somewhere… My fear of unknown degenerates into fury against the world's biggest chess game. But right now, it's so late that I'm too tired to act. Any force I might have to move a piece in this game is crushed. This is why I want to stay awake longer: to taste more of the victory against the dark voices from my head: I will not contact Kevin!! I'd rather keep writing...