~Thirty Nine~
I felt bad for Harry, I really did. My change of heart came quick, I'll give you that, but I guess it just, happened. It wasn't fair or Louis to act like that, especially in front of Harry. My brother may be tough, but I know when he's hurt, when he's uncomfortable, and when he's just done with everything.
Louis was way out of character, and frankly I should have told him off for hurting my brother, but there was something between his words that actually got to me. He was trying to show Harry that he didn't need him, and that he could get what he wanted from someone else, but behind that. Behind the nonsense and the hurtful, yet vivid, images, I could see that Louis hated himself for every word. The boys may be blind, but I wasn't.
Louis just wanted Harry to get jealous, not blow everything out of proportion. He wanted Harry to show that he cared for Louis. That no matter what happened, Harry would come to Louis' defense, or vice versa. I knew the two boys loved each other. I could hear it in the way Harry described it.
How awful Louis was in the morning. (I didn't really ask why they would wake up together, but I made some assumptions.) How cheeky he was. (that I didn't need to know either) How funny and love-able he was. Or how is eyes crinkled shut when he laughed and bounced at the same time. How he would get cold when ever they were alone, and Harry would give him his jacket, and how much Harry loved that it was always so big one him.
I've never been able to witness it firsthand, but I wish I would have. The way he described Louis made my stomach fill with butterflies. Never in my entire life had I seen Harry's face so goofy when he talked about someone. That, that is how I know he loved him, so when I finally found him in the car throwing a fit, I wasn't that shocked.
Rather than shock, it was more of despair. I hated seeing him like this, I wish it were me. I walked over to the car, and knocked on the passanger's window.
He didn't look up. His head was faced down on the steering wheel with his hands on either side. His knuckles were turning white from how hard he was holding the wheel. I knocked again, and again until he unlocked the car, not bothering to look up.
"H-" He interrupted me by hiccuping. He'd been-- is crying.I didn't know what to do anymore. Moment ago I had this marvelous speech about what I should say. How Louis doesn't deserve him, and how Harry could do so much better, but alas I'm stuck. I hate when people cry. I get even more awkward.
His sobs filled the silence and I couldn't help but let my heart break. Please Harry, please stop. Why I couldn't say that out loud was beyond me. I sat there for a few more seconds, and finally I put my arms around him.
I pulled him into me and gave him the longest hug I could possibly give anybody. He continued to cry, so I just kept hugging him. His arms finally gave out and he hugged me back. His cries became soft sobs. I didn't say a word until I felt him calm down.
"You alright?"
He hiccuped and wiped his eyes. He still didn't look at me, but just out at the school.
"You know what's weird?" He finally asked. I didn't answer, I just waited for him to continue. "What's weird is that people expect nothing to hurt them. They expect to be kept safe, especially by the one's they love-- loved. We're all supposed to get married and have a happy life. You know what I think? I think it's bullshit. No one can ever make us happy. We are so dependent on someone else to make us happy, but that's crap. No one can ever make you happy. We, we are our own happiness. Someone else's happiness is what we crave, but only because we're so afraid of being alone."
"It's selfish, really. We find love because we're afraid of other people's opinion about us being alone. We are such a homogeneous species, and that sucks. Why cant we focus on things that actually matters. Fuck similarities. Fuck women, and fuck men. All they do is lead you on, and they say one thing, but automatically do the other. People are nothing but selfish fucks."
"Harry, I know that you're hurt, but come on, now. You don't actually believe that right. I mean not everyone's that bad. We want love because we want to find our other halves. We want to feel the feeling of waking up to the person you adore the most in the world. The feeling of knowing that no one can take us from them, or knowing that no one could make you happier. The feeling of growing old with them, and knowing that they'll love you forever."
"It's a lie though. No one loves the same person forever." It was bad of me to get mad at him, especially now, but I couldn't help it.
"What happened to the Harry that was telling me that the real quest of loving someone is fighting and working hard to keep the love there? Where's that Harry?!"
"That Harry's gone! It was all a lie. Love is a stupid, overrated concept. People are here to make you feel special, and loved, and then they'll break you, and make you feel as if the last few months meant nothing to them!" Tears began forming in his eyes again. "People are all selfish bastards."
"Harry, stop. I know you don't mean it. You're just hurt, please calm down." I tried to soothe him.
"I cant calm down Marcel!" The vein on his neck grew, making him even more intimidating. "I loved him! Shit, I still do! He thinks I don't, but I do! He's seeing other men, and everything he's told me is a lie! How could he do that?! How could he hurt me like that?! How!" Tears fell from his cheeks, and his knuckled began turning white again.
I was dumbstruck. I knew this was about Louis, but I didn't think Harry would let so much show. I looked at him, and then back at the school building. My anger rose as I saw Harry like this. I couldn't believe that he actually broke down. He isn't always that strong. I thought. He was just a regular boy who needed someone on his side.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was shutting the car door, roughly may I add. The adrenaline in me was so high right now I couldn't even process what Harry was yelling at me. I knew it may have been important, but I ignored him and walked straight into the cafeteria.
~~~
what is Marcel going to do?!? :o
SORRY FOR THE WAIT! I hope you like the chapter.
Its been a really crazy week, but IM BACK!
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Transformation (Marcel FanFic)
FanfictionMarcel Styles. Straight A student, top of his class, soon to be valedictorian. He and his best friend Amie have been connected at the hip from the very beginning. He isn't the coolest in school but things change for him during his last year of schoo...
