Hearts Without Chains

21.

~Out of this same light, out of the central mind, we make a dwelling in the evening air, in which being there together is enough~ Wallace Stevens

Josephine-

I couldn't explain the guilt I felt into coherent words.

I walk up the driveway behind my parents now, with my head bowed as I looked at my feet. My Father is the silent type when he is mad. But, my mother is the opposite.

"You show up late, and then smell like drugs!" She throws her hands up in disbelief, and when I open up my mouth to say something, she puts her hands upon her hips in expectation.

"Mom, I told you, it was from being in Olivia's car. I didn't actually smoke!" I exclaim, and my chest pounds as I lie straight to her face.

"What, so Olivia smokes pot?" She exaggerates the last word, and I feel like a fish out of water as my mouth hangs open to find another lie.

"No, her boyfriend does. She picked him up while I was in the car with her." I try and say confidently.

"Brandon?" She asks.

"You shouldn't be associated with that boy if you know he is doing such things." She points an accusative finger at me, and my eyes flick to my father who stands behind my mom.

He shrugs his shoulders as in telling me there is nothing he can do, and turns to head into the kitchen.

"I know, I'm sorry." I say the thing I know she wants to hear.

"No more hanging around him." She speaks.

"Okay." I nod my head.

"I am still angry at you for showing up late. That was embarrassing." She shakes her head as she walks passed me to go to the staircase.

When I slump into a chair at the dining room table, I smile as a spoon of peanut butter is put into my view, being held in my fathers hand.

"Thanks." I tell him, and he offers me a smile.

"Is what you told your mother true?" He asks me.

I nod my head to convince him, and put the spoon in my mouth.

"Why, do you think I'm lying?" I ask him once I take it out.

He shrugs his shoulders, and my heartbeat steadies a bit.

"I'm going to go take a shower." I tell him, and put the spoon in my mouth as I clamber up the stairs.

*****

Later that night I lie in my bed, my legs tangled in my duvet as I stared at the ceiling above me. I turn my head to the side to look to my nightstand where my phone rests, and take it into my hands.

I stare at the H that Harry had put his contact in as, and my fingers hover over the keyboard as I try and find out what to say.

You're lucky I'm a good liar

I decide to put it at that, and send it. If my parents actually knew I smoked, I would be punished to no ends. When I see that he is typing back, I feel like a ten year old as I smile to myself.

It's not my ass that would've been beat

I lay my phone down onto my stomach, and feel nervous about what I want to ask him next.

When will I see you again?

All I know is that today was a good day. Being with him usually isn't fun, but today was. I turn over onto my stomach, and rest my chin into my palm as I watch my phone screen.