Hearts Without Chains

32.

~Don't sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there's nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you~ Karl Lagerfeld

Harry-

I didn't take pity in the pout to my sisters lips or the sadness to her eyes as I backed away from her, my arms losing contact with her as well. I'm still aware of Jo's presence, and look over my shoulder to see her. She looks confused of course, but realization soon comes to her eyes, and I know she'd heard what I said to Jess.

"You can go inside with mum, I have somewhere to go." I dismiss myself, having really no where to go or be, but just wanting to get away.

I don't wait to hear Jess's response, and take Joey's wrist in my hand, gently probing her to come with me as I walk back down the driveway. I realize that they didn't say a word to one another, and think that's a good thing perhaps. She won't be here long anyways, she never is. Once we are sat in my truck I wait for the questions to be fired at me, but her lips are sealed and she only looks me over with patience in her eyes, waiting for me to open up myself. I pull out of my driveway, driving for a few minutes before finally speaking.

"What do you want to know?" I ask her, side glancing in her direction. It will be easier to answer just the questions that she has, rather then going into all the shit of my life.

"Why are you angry at her?" She asks me.

My thumbnail absentmindedly digs into the rubber of the steering wheel, and I slam on the breaks a little too hard at a stop light, making Joey jerk forward a little in her seat due to my lack of attention. I mutter a halfhearted apology and look out my windshield.

"She just left after my dad died." I shrug.

"Left me with my mum when she was at her worst, and never comes around anymore." I add on.

I know it's a grudge that I hold onto greatly, and that maybe I should be
over it by now and just choose not to give a shit about it like I do with a lot of other things; but I can't let it go, and I can't not give a shit about it.

"Maybe she's come to make things better?" Joey suggests in a hopeful tone.

I chuckle, "She wouldn't of even come if it weren't for my mothers cancer." I state.

I didn't notice what I was doing until Joeys hand reached out, fingers curling around my forearm to bring it to her lap, crescents from my nail indented into the steering wheel.

"I don't want to go home." Jo says as we get closer and closer to her house.

"And why not?" I say a little teasingly, and knowingly as I give her a small smile. I like that she can make me feel better.

"You know why. I just want to be with you a while longer, and I know you'll leave if we go to my house." She says.

I turn on my signal and turn on the street that leads away from the one I should've just turned onto to go to her house, going the opposite way to a place I remember greatly. When I pull up to the playground I can see the look of adoring on her face, and feel like rolling my eyes at myself due to my developing snappiness. What is this girl fucking doing to me? I take my hand out of hers as I get out of the truck, meeting her at the front as we begin to walk towards the abandoned playground.

When she takes my hand and steers me away from the swings to which I was heading, and pulls me to the place we had once been together beneath the entrance to the slide, I follow her willingly. She smiles up at me once we are huddled beneath the shelter of wood, and I feel my heart pounding in a weird and still unfamiliar way as her lips catch mine.