WHATEVER STRIDER - DaveKat (and more)

Aw Fuck No

You are Karkat, And this is probably a dream

You arrive at Dave's house, precisely at three. It never hurts to be on time. Also, it's not like you have anything better to do. You were just going to laze around all day anyway, but doing it with someone else is much better. Even if that someone is Dave. 

You knock on Dave's door, half hoping he wasn't there. You don't know why you have something against him, it's probably his 'Cool Kid' Bullshit. Even in your memories you ramble Karkat, get on with the story. Dave answered the door right away. You sigh. Just a little, but he heard it. "Dude, whats with the sigh? If you don't want to be here that's okay." 

"Huh? No, I'm fine, just a little cold" Shit! why would you be cold? It's March! Dave beacons you inside and you realize that you were, in fact, cold. "What about your Bro? Isn't he around?"

"Him? Naw, He's off adventuring with Jake." Duh! God you feel so stupid right now, Bro himself told you that he was going to be gone for a while. He also told you to 'Take care of Dave' for him. What is it with Striders and their double-meanings? Goddammit Karkat. I just want to know what happened. Jeez, even your weird sub-conscious fucking hates you. I'm NOT your sub-conscious! I am just looking at these events over your shoulder. Fine! Whatever. You are just going to keep telling your story. WITH NO INTERRUPTIONS. PLEASE. Alright, so you arrive at Dave's house, and realize that you have never been to his actual house before. Which is weird. But he let you in, and said that he had already picked a movie to watch. Which is rude. You let it slide.  Dave left to go make popcorn, so you sit down on the couch and turn on the TV. The first thing that pops up is a trailer for a SBaHJ Movie? Huh. And the next thing you saw was- Gog you don't even want to member. DAVE STRIDER had ads for HEAVY DUTY BUCKETS on his television. you will never be able to get that image out of your head. Dave came in and looked at you, then at the TV, then back at you. He shrugged and handed you a bowl of popcorn.

"Why were there b-bucket ads on your TV?" you ask.

"What? Ads are random. I can't choose what is advertised! Plus most of the world thinks buckets are for cleaning" Right. Again, very smooth Karkat. You shrug.

"What movie are we watching?" You ask.

"Legally Blonde." What the fuck. That movie sucks. You aren't going to tell Dave that though. You can tell he really likes it. This is going to be harder than you thought.

--Fast Forward About 45 Minutes--

"So Kitkat, do you want any more popcorn?" You look up from the movie.

"Huh?" You look down and realize Dave gave you the rest of his popcorn. "Oh! Sorry! I didn't mean to eat yours!" You blush, and hope that he wasn't looking. You realize he called you kitkat, but decide to let it slide. Also somehow during the movie Dave's cape had gotten thrown over you like a blanket.

"I'm going to make more" Yes! More popcorn. This time you will make sure not to eat any of his. Wow, you just realized that you are having fun, which is rather unusual for you. You decide to get on your phone while Dave is in the kitchen. You are being pestered.

arsenicCatnip began pestering carcinoGeneticist

AC: :33 < Heyyy Karkitty

AC: :33 < Hows you date going?

CG: UMMM WHAT?

CG: WE'RE JUST WATCHING A MOVIE NEPETA

AC: :33 < Aww mann reaallyy???

AC: :33 < *AC hangs her head in sadness* But you guys are so cute!!!

CG: GOG DAMMIT WHO ELSE THINKS THAT

AC: :33 < Me, Kanaya and Pawssibly Sollux.

CG: SORRY NEPETA I HAVE TO GO. DAVE MADE MORE POPCORN

carcinoGeneticist ceased pestering arsenicCatnip

Wow. Kanaya, Sollux AND Nepeta? That's like, a fifth of your friends who ship you with Dave. Damn. Dave comes back in and you look up from your phone guiltily. He sits down way to close to you and hands you a bowl of popcorn. You get up and grab the remote to un-pause the movie. When you walk back over to the couch Dave pulls you down into his lap. 

"The fuck Strider?"

"What? you're warm and you fucking purr Kitkat. You really have no choice. You are sitting on my lap." Have you ever purred around Dave before? You didn't really think so, but maybe  during the movie? You plop down next to him. Dave promptly picks you up and sets you in his lap.

--Fast forward fifteen minutes--

You finish off the last of your popcorn and  look up, expecting Dave to be watching the movie. But he isn't, he's just staring at the top of your head. Probably. But with those damn shades on it's hard to tell. You really hope that someday you will get to see his eyes. Wow. did you actually just think that?  You really are a hopeless romantic- Wait. Fuck. Are you flushing for Dave?

"You're out of popcorn already?" You jump a little, forgetting Dave was there.

"Yeah, but it's fine" You mumble absently. You lean back against Dave and start purring drowsily. Dave resumes the movie.

--Quite a while later--

You open your eyes sleepily, expecting to see your movie posters. Instead you are greeted with a blank wall. You sit up, now completely alert. And hit your head on something hard.

"FUCK! Oww!" You yell out and look up. You see Dave rubbing his chin. "Sorry!! Did I fall asleep on you?" You jump AGAIN at the sound of thunder. Shit. You fucking hate thunder. 

"Yes you fell asleep on me." Shit. What time is it? You grab for your phone but remember that you left it on the couch. 

"Where are we? and what time is it?" You ask, assuming that you are in Dave's room. But then you look around and see that it is much too empty to be his.

"It's like eight am, and we're in the guest room" 

"You guys have a GUEST ROOM?!" you ask incredulously. To think that the Striders have a guest room!

"Duh. Where else would people sleep when the came to visit?" *BOOM* You forgot about the thunder. You jump a little and snuggle closer to Dave. "Kitkat? Are you afraid of thunder?"

"W-What? No?" You lie, blushing. He sees it and, chuckling, wraps you up in his bright red cape. 

"Aww! Thats adorable!" You should probably stop hugging Dave, but he's really warm... Fuck. You started purring again.

Aw fuck no. You really are flushed for Strider aren't you?

~~END OF CHAPTER ONE~~