JP Part 2

Fixing Hidden Wounds

I walk back into the house and to find Joseph sitting on the staircase and waiting for me to come home. I look down ashamed and can feel his eyes burning holes into my soul. We stay silent for a few moments.

 "I'm sorry." 

I go first. He opens his mouth but I hold out my hand to stop him. 

"No, there's nothing you did that you should be sorry for. It's all on me." 

I continue and he just pats the stair next to him. I sigh as I sit down next to him. Today was full of depressed sighs. Joseph takes a sip of coffee and gives me that all knowing look. 

"I knew you were bound to snap sometime so I had prepared myself. I wasn't hurt so much by what you said. More so this is how you've felt this entire time and I hadn't the slightest clue. I didn't realize how much the...incident...affected you too." Joseph admits and gently brings his hand up and down my back. 

"Joseph, Do you know how much I love you?" I ask and he smirks. 

"Hmm... I like to assume you love me as much as I love you." He says and shifts himself so he's turned to me and our knees touch. 

"Peter, you're so busy trying to be strong for Elucillana and Peter James, trying to hold me together and support me through my PTSD that you forgot about your own feelings and let it just bottle up." He says.

 I groan tiredly, resting my head on his lap and he runs his fingers through my hair. The only light in the room was from the flickering fire in the fireplace making crackling noises in the background. I watch the shadows dance on the wall as I soak in what he is saying. 

"I will never blame you for what happened Peter, so you should never blame yourself." He says and I sigh. 

"That's a lot easier said than done," I admit and he shushes me. 

"No Peter, listen to me. I will never blame you for what happened that night. It is not your fault. It will never be your fault. I do not blame you for what happened."

 He repeats himself to me and I feel the tears start to come up.

 "Letting out how you really feel doesn't make you weak, It makes you stronger because it relieves some of the burdens that weigh on your chest. It's okay to cry Peter, I'm here. I love you very much and I just want to see you truly happy again." The tears start to flow uncontrollably as I bury my head in his lap and just weep for the first time.

 I had shed a few tears in front of Joseph but never like this. 

"Do you know....what it was like...to see you in the hospital like that? After knowing what they had done to the love of my life and the father of my children?" 

I choke out and he coos and kisses my cheek while wiping away the tears that kept falling down. 

"I'm probably going to flood the house with my stupid tears," I say and kisses my cheek. 

"That's okay, we have great flood insurance." 

Joseph giggles and I realize by his voice that he's crying too. I stop crying and just sniffle as we just sit there quietly for an hour. 

I finally felt like we were getting back on track.