Dolan Twins Imagines ♥

Ethan Dolan♥Haters

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME READERS. THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES DEPRESSION, EATING DISORDERS, BULLYING AND SELF HARM. 

YOUR POV: 

Ethan and I have been dating for 4 months and Ethan had announced that we've been dating 2 months into our relationship. Only a hand full of his fans supported our relationship where as the others hated it... well they hated me. They would comment on my Instagram posts, Tweet me on Twitter and would also comment on Ethan's posts if I was in it but I don't think he's noticed, if he has he probably doesn't want to say anything because he doesn't want to make thing worse but they just keep getting worse anyways but I don't want to mention it to him because I feel embarassed and ashamed. They would comment things like:

"Ew state of her Ethan u can do WAY better than that ugly tramp"

"When did Ethan get an elephant?"

"FAT"

"DIE"

"She's using u 4 fame"

"She only likes him coz of his looks"

And way worse. All of this has been going on for 2 months. For a few weeks I didn't care, I always thought about the positive things like "I'm the one going out with Ethan" "He picked me for a reason" " They're just jealous that I have the best looking boyfriend ever" but when comments like "he can do way better" came in I started to believe it. I tried to distance myself from Ethan a bit so he doesn't get the hate comments on his social media and can get good ones or paparazzi will take pictures. I also tried to change myself. I started eating alot healthier and I cut out all bad sugars and carbs and started working out more until I gave up. I couldn't see change in myself at all and I know that it takes time but I was too impatient so i started to throw up my food and sometimes cut meals or go a day with food. I never really thought about the bad results I only thought about myself becoming slimmer. I became weaker but I didn't look sick but you could see I lost weight. I just told Ethan that I have been working out and eating alot better.

One night Ethan and I went out to eat at Chipotle and after when I got home I just went to the bathroom and threw up.  Obviously Ethan still doesn't know about my eating disorder and he's been supporting me because he thinks i'm working out but now I just feel really bad because he's proud of what he thinks I'm doing. 

One night I was just lying on my bed scrolling through my social medias until I kept getting notifications saying that I've been tagged in edits of me and they were bad. They were making fun of me and and kept calling me names. I lost it, I gave up, I broke down and the only thing I thought about was ending it, when I meant it I meant my life. I went up to my bedroom and I took out a notebook and wrote a quick letter for my family and friends but for Ethan I wrote wrote him a bigger one.

"Dear Ethan Grant Dolan , the first day I met you I knew I wanted to be with you, you were the most kind, caring and loving person I've ever met and I have to thank Aaron for introducing us to each other. For months I kept it in that I had a major crush on you until you asked me out and my god was I happy, I could not stop smiling or thinking about you. I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. The support you give me and the things you do for me is unbelievable I never had someone care for me or love me as much as you do. I never thought I would be in another relationship since my last one ended because I was scared to love again. But I am sorry that I have to end it here and leave you. The hate your fans have been giving me since you announced we've been dating is unbelievable but I want you to know that it is not your fault and I also want you to move on and find another girl that loves you just as much as I do and one day you'll marry her and have a family. But one day we will meet again Ethan. I LOVE YOU ETHAN GRANT DOLAN xoxo - Y/N"

I then texted Ethan and said" I love you, I always have and always will ♥♥♥"

I walked into the bathroom and just took a random bottle of pills and swallowed them whole. I began to feel tired and weak. I sat there for bout 10 minutes waiting for them to work but nothing happened so I was about to grab a razor and do it the more painful way until I heard Ethan running into the front door downstairs and I heard him screaming my name and running around looking for me. I tried to lock the door but he came running in and he started to cry and panic when he saw the empty bottle of pills o the bathroom floor and a razor in my hand. He had to tackle me t take the razor out of me hand but I wouldn't budge until he finally got it and he rang the ambulance. I begged him not to but he didn't listen. He then told me to make myself sick to bring up the pills but I refused so he done it for me. I never fought as hard in my life. I then got sick. Ethan sat me up against the bath and carresed me hair. We both started to cry but I think he was crying more than me. The ambulance came running in and brought me to the hospital.

They had done an operation on me to check if every thing is ok. All the pills were gone out of my system. I was asleep or a few hours but when I woke up Ethan was beside me holding my hand crying. He looked up when he felt my hand move and when I looked at him he looked tired. His face was all red, his eyes were red and puffy and he had tears streaming down his face.

"Why Y/N?"

"I'm so sorry Ethan I couldn't take the hate anymore and I believe that you deserve someone better than me"

"HATE? Y/N I am so sorry I didn't even realise you were getting hate if I knew I would of said something to everyone I would've been there for"

"It's not your fault E"

"You said that in my note" he looked down when he said this. There was a silence. He got into the hospital bed beside me and cuddled up to me.

"I am so sorry Y/N, I love you, I love you to the moon and back, you are the most beautiful, perfect, intelligent girl I have ever met. I wish you have told me sooner and I could have helped. Everything is going to be okay, I am never leaving you, I am here for you, I am going to protect you, I am staying here and I am not leaving, I don't care what anyone says, to me, you are perfect I love you Y/N". You cried. You couldn't believe that you had someone this caring and loving in your life.

You were in hospital for a week and Ethan stayed beside you for the whole week. You now had to attend therapy but Ethan also brought you and waited outside for you or sometimes he went in with you. He announced on his social medias what had happened and everyone was sending in their prayers and love. Everyone apologized, they deleted their hate comments etc and everyone was now supportive of you and Ethan.

HEY LOVELIES I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ONE. IT WAS A VERY STRONG TOPIC TO WRITE ABOUT AND IT'S VERY EFFECTIVE. IF YOU EVER NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO PLEASE TALK TO FAMILY, FRIENDS, SCHOOL COUNCILER, HELP LINES OR DM ON INSTA:

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