Dolan Twins Imagines ♥

Struggles- G.D

Grayson and I have been together for six years, since we were 18, and married for 2 years. Ever since we've gotten married we have tried to start a family. We both love kids and want to start a family asap but for the past 2 years it has been hard. 

It's normal not to be able to have kids straight away but if you knew how many times we try you would think that I would be pregnant. My biggest fear is not being able to have children, I don't know why. I just feel like that as a woman it is my job to carry a new life and if I'm not able to do that I'd feel less of a female. I don't know if other females feel like this but I sure do. Grayson and I have bought many, many pregnancy tests for 2 years, which they all came out as negative. 

A few weeks ago we tried and this morning I woke up at 6 feeling the urge to get sick which is unusual for me because I'm never sick. I ran to the toilet and vomited. My husband, Grayson, lazily walked in behind me rubbing my back and holding my hair for me. "Are you okay baby?" He asks. "Obviously not, I'm get-" and I got sick again and again and again.

After a while I felt better when it finally hit me. "GRAYSON!!!" I shouted and he came running downstairs. "Hey hey what's wrong?" he asked looking very concerned yet worried. "Maybe I got sick this morning because what if I'm pregnant?". His eyes widened and his mouth parted. He dragged me to get my shoes on and he drove down to the closest store. We went in and grabbed a pregnancy test with 3 tests in it.

We arrived home and I drank loads of water so I had to pee. I quickly had to pee so I grabbed the box and went to the bathroom and took all 3 tests. I sat on the toilet seat waiting for the timer to go off and Grayson was waiting at the door. The timer on my phone went off and we jumped. I snatched the tests and looked at them. 1 was negative but the other 2 had a very faint second line but it was extremely light. It took us a few minutes to see it. We weren't so sure about it so we decided to book an appointment to the doctors to check because this never happened to me before. 

The next day we went to the doctors. I was called in and Grayson and I walked in hand in hand. I explained to the doctor and I even showed her the tests. She says this happens a lot and most of the time the women are pregnant. I laid down on the bed and she rubbed some cold gel thing on my stomach and done an ultrasound. "I'm sorry but it appears that that tests were negative and you're not pregnant". I was extremely upset. "Oh okay, t-thank you anyways". On the way home the car ride was silent and Grayson didn't say anything because he knew I was upset. He put his hand on my knee but I just turned my body because I wasn't in the mood. For the day, I was quiet and kept to myself even though Grayson was beside me the whole day comforting me.

A few days later, the Dolan family were having a BBQ. All of Grayson's family were there. Ethan and his girlfriend, Rachel, announced that Rachel was pregnant. They've been married for a year. I was so happy for them, they're my bestfriends but I did feel upset that they were starting their life and I was still waiting.

We all went home and later on that night, Grayson was really in the mood but I wasn't. Grayson was kissing my neck but I kept trying to push him away. "STOP GRAYSON". He stopped and he was very shocked. "Wow what the fuck is wrong with you, I thought we were trying to start a family". "IT'S NOT GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN GRAYSON, we've been trying for 2 years 2 bloody years and nothing". "Babe it's normal not to get pregnant for a few years and you even said that yourself". "I know but it's not working". "That's why we keep trying". Grayson leaned in again and tried to start. 

"STOP" I shouted. "FUCH SAKE Y/N WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU". "I CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN GRAYSON, I'M BROKEN, MY BODY DOESN'T WORK, I'M NEVER GONNA BE PREGNANT, WE CAN'T HAVE A FAMILY". "What do you mean?" "I can't have kids. I went to the doctors again yesterday to see what was happening and then I was sent to the gynecologist and I found out that I'm not able to have kids."

I started crying and I saw that Grayson was upset. "I understand if you want to l-leave m-me" I sobbed. "Y/n I would never leave you in a million years. I wouldn't leave you just because you can't have kids. I know we both wants kids but there's other ways. We can adopt, we can-". "No Grayson". "No? but I thought that you also wanted to adopt". "Yes I do but I want at least 2 of our own, OUR own. I don't want some other woman's eggs or some other man's sperm. I want our kids to look like us and act like us.... except in a more mannered way but I want mini us' running around. I want to look at our son or daughter and see him or her have your eyes and nose. That's what I want, not someone's nose that I've never seen before"

Grayson pulled me in for hug and let me cry on his shoulder. "We shouldn't give up, miracles can happen you know. My Mom was told she couldn't have kids but she ended up have 3 kids. Our bodies change y/n, please don't give up. We don't have to try for a while if you want but I don't want us to give up". 

 A YEAR LATER:

Pink and blue balloons flew out of the box and everyone was cheering. I didn't know we were having a girl and boy twins. Ethan planned it because Grayson and I didn't want to know. Grayson was right, miracles can happen and we shouldn't stop trying just because someone tells us that we're not able to do something. I'm so happy that we're have twins and that we're finally starting a family after 3 years of trying and buying many pregnancy tests and many tears flowing down my face but today I'm crying of joy that I am starting my life with the love of my life and bringing two new lives into the world.