Dolan Twins Imagines ♥

Ethan Dolan♥ Late night drives

MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME. IT'S NOT BAD BUT DEPRESSION IS MENTIONED

My depression and anxiety has kicked in again recently. A lot has been going on in my life such as my mom abusing me, my parents divorcing, school, exams and a load of things that teenagers would gain mental health issues from. Apart from them I have amazing friends that are always there for me and my boyfriend Ethan who I have been with for 3 years.

He knows about all my problems. Past and present. I tell him everything, like sometimes my depression gets so bad that I want to harm but I know I shouldn't so I tell Ethan straight away and he'd drop whatever he's doing and would come and comfort me even if its 5a.m. 

He's also very aware of me when I'm down because I told him that I used to harm myself. People think that self harming is just cutting your self but the truth is it's the littlest things that do hurt you and I'm pretty sure everyone has done it such as pulling your hair, pinching yourself, digging your nails into your skin, biting your hand in frustration etc but I done everything. When I met Ethan it was like I felt safe and important. 

People say your family loves you and they care but the thing is sometimes our family isn't enough, sometimes we need a best friend that stands up for you, that has the same sense of humor as you and that acts like you. Another thing people say is that you don't need a boy/ girl to make you feel special but for a lot of people we do. It makes us feel better about ourselves knowing that someone who isn't our family or friend loves us like madly loves us. So that's why when I met Ethan I felt completely better about myself.

It is currently 2a.m and I'm lying here in my bed on my back with one leg over the other and my arms folded staring at my ceiling as the fan goes around and around. Everyone is now asleep and there is no noise to be heard in the house. Tears start to build up in my eyes. I have no idea why but I start crying. I turn to my side and tug my blanket to my face and snuggle into Ethan's jumper too. I start to shake and I feel a panic attack coming along. I sit up and count to 20. If my panic attack doesn't come by the time I get to 20 then it won't come and I have beaten that attack but it doesn't work.

I grab my phone and ring Ethan. It took him a few seconds to answer but he finally answered. 

"Hello baby" he yawned

"H-hey sorry did I wake you"

"What's wrong" he said ignoring my question

"I don't know I-I'm having a panic attack a-and I-" he cuts me off

"I'm on my way, get dressed I'll bring you out"

"Thank you baby I love you"

"And I love you beautiful"

I get up and change into some leggings and my superstars leaving on Ethan's jumper and my hair in a messy bun. I wait in the sitting room and I see his car pull up. I quietly sneak out and jog my way to his car. I open the door and jump in. I instantly jump into his arms and cry on hi shoulder.

"Hey hey what' wrong" he asks while rubbing my back

"I-I d-don't kn-know"

"Shhh I'm here baby I'm always here"

He drives off away from my house in case anyone sees the car outside and he drives to McDonalds. We go in and sit down. There were only us two and a small group of friends that looked like they were just on a night out. Ethan had bought me curly fries, coke and a 20 piece mcnugget box. I loved this boy so much. We just sat there in silence while he held my left hand while we were both eating. My face felt really tight since I had dry tears.

We were done and go back into his car. He turned on the radio and 'Stranger by Road trip came on. Ethan hates this song and band but he left it on because I love them. I instantly become better. Hugging Ethan, crying on his shoulder, eating and listening to music obviously boosted my mood. 

He drives to a quiet place up at the top of a mountain where we could see the lights from the city and the stars. We layed our seats down and opened the little thing on the car roof so we could star at the stars. We snuggled up. We stayed there for a good hour or so and Ethan decided to bring me back. We got to my house.

"Thank you Ethan I love you so much"

"Anytime baby I'm always here  no matter what time it is or what ever I'm doing I will come and see you if you need me I loved you you are loved remember that for me okay?"

"Okay I'll see you tomorrow I love you" 

"I love you"

I close the car door and enter my house. Thank God everyone is still asleep. I walk upstairs and get back into my pyjamas and get into bed and fall asleep straight away.

HEY EVERYONE. I REALLY DO APOLOGIZE FOR NOT UPDATING MY MIND IS GOING BLANK HAHHA. PLEASE LEAVE REQUESTS. ALSO I HAVE DELETED MY INSTAGRAM PAGE BECAUSE IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME AND I WASN'T HAPPY WITH IT. I DIDN'T LIKE IT AND I WASN'T PROUD SO I MIGHT BE STARTING A NEW ONE SOMETIME NEXT YEAR ONCE I FIGURE OUT WHAT I'LL BE DOING ON IT EXACTLY. BUT YE THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT ♥♥♥♥