We arrived home and I put her to bed. I went back downstairs and I felt the way I felt the day Grayson left. Shit. I grabbed a bottle of wine and a wine glass. I sat on the black leather couch staring at a picture of Tara and I. I am so glad that I have her and I'm happy I listened to myself. Before I knew it, tears were strolling down my cheeks. One by one they dropped from my eyes, to my cheeks and onto my hands. I got up and went up to my room. I popped on an over sized t-shirt and got into bed and cried.
NEXT DAY
"MOMMY MOMMY WAKE UP" screamed Tara while jumping on me. "Hahaha tata I'm up up" "I'mmmmmmmmmmm hungryyyyyyy" "Fineeee letssssssssssss gettttttttt breakfast shall weeeeee" "Yessssssssss weeeeeeeeeeeeee shalllllllll mommyyyyyyyyyyy". I get up and she drags me by the hand down the stairs. We enter the kitchen and she sits in her seat at the table. "What would you like?" "Emmmm pancakes" *SHIT PANCAKES GRAYSON'S FAVORITE OH MY GOD SHE'S EXACTLY LIKE HIM IS THIS A SIGN? ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE BACK TOGETHER?*
"Mommy?" "Oh sorry y-yeah sure I'll make them now". I hand her her pancakes topped with chocolate sauce, whipped cream and strawberries. I sit across from her while we enjoy or pancakes. "So what would you like to do today?" "Park" "Again? we were there 3 days in a row hahaha" "It's fun hehe" "Is your little friend Jake going to be there? Is that why you want to keep going huh?" "Stoppppp" she said in a sad voice. "Awww my baby got a little crush?" "No stop it" she walked off in a huff. "Ahahah baby I'm sorry I'm only playing with you now let's go upstairs and get you dressed"
We both run up the stairs and into her room. I put a pink and white stripped top with white tights and a pink skirt with her white Converse and put her hair into two plaits. Once she's ready I go in and through on black jeans with a plain white v-lined top with my green bomber jacket and white Converse and a quick apply of make up.
"You ready?" "Yup". I grab my keys and we head out to the car. I open the back door and lift her into her car seat and strapping her in. I get into the front and turn on the car along with the radio playing Justin Bieber. Tara's favorite.
10 minutes later we arrive at the park. I park the car and we get out. We walk over and she sees one of her friends. I sit on the bench where you can see everything to keep an eye on her. One of the parents comes over to me and we start talking. A few minutes later I go to look at Tara but I can't see her. "TARA! TARA SWEETIE WHERE ARE YOU?". No reply. I keep shouting her name and running around looking for her. I look at the entrance of the park and I see her talking to someone.
I panic and run towards her. I pick her up from behind. "Tara never ever run away like that ever again especially talking to strangers do not do that ever again" this was the first time I have ever given out to her. She started to cry and snuggled her head into my neck. I look and see it was Grayson she was talking to. "I-I'm s-s-sorry mommy I-I just saw your fried from yesterday so I went to say hi" "Shhh it's okay just please never run away like that ever again even if you see someone you know because you'll scare me" "Ss-orry" "It's okay now jut go back over to the park and stay near Jake's mom". She runs back over and starts playing again.
"Grayson what the fuck why do you think you can just talk to MY daughter?" "I'm sorry y/n look when I saw you yesterday I've realized I've made a mistake by leaving you when you were pregnant and I really just want to be back with you and be part of Tara's life" "Well Grayson I'm sorry but no you cannot just walse up in here and pretend you were here for the past 3 years plus how am I supposed to introduce her to her 'oh hey Tara this is your father Grayson he left me when I was pregnant with you because he wasn't ready to be a father' like what the fuck no" "Please I need to be with you and her".
I walk off it my arms crossed over to the bench where I was sitting. He followed me and sat beside me. "Please" "Why?" "Why what?" "Why now? explain everything" "I regret leaving you that day. It was 3 years ago I was 17 I was a fucking cunt of a teenager who couldn't take care of his own responsabilities and I was scared of what others would think of me as a father at 17 when I shouldn't of cared. I was happy when you were pregnant I really was but I didn't want to some how ruin my reputition by being a father. Like I said I was a cunt of a teenager but now I've got some sense in me. I need to be with you because I love you I have always loved you and I sometimes fall asleep thinking of you. And for Tara I need to be there for her. She needs to know who her father is. She needs a dad when she has her first boyfriend to threaten him, we have to have that strong father and daughter bond you know that because we always used to talk about that. Last night I cried myself to sleep knowing that my daughter was in the same town as me but has never met me properly and she doesn't know who I am. So please y/n can we sort something out?"
"Hhhh Grayson I still love you too I really do but I don't know if we can get back together" "Oh" "We could try and introduce you to Tara for who you really are" "Oh my god y/n thank you so much". He wraps his arms around me and hugs me I hesitate but I hug back. "And y/n if we become close again do you think we could get back together and be an actual family?" "If we can then I hope so Grayson". We look at each other and smile. "So would you like to meet her now?" "Please" "Okay" "Tara come on let's go" "What why now?" "We have to talk" "Okay, bye Jake see you tomorrow" "Looks like he can be the first boy you threaten" I say to Grayson "Hahaha".
"What do we have to talk about mom?" "We'll get home first and us 3 will talk okay?" "Okay". We get to the car and Grayson and I get into the front. Tara was too busy singing to Justin Bieber and Grayson placed his hand on top of mine while it was on the gear. We looked at each other but I had an un-sure face. He took his hand away and looked out the window. We arrived home and walked in. "Looks the same" Grayson said "Yup".
"Okay Tara come into the sitting room please". She came running in and she sat down on the leg rest infront of Grayson and I. "Okay so what I have to tell you may be a bit hard for you. So Grayson here is emm -he's uhh he's your f-father". She sat there eyes wide opened. Grayson sat there scared for what was to happen next. I grab his hand to comfort him. "H-how come I have never met him?" "Oh b-because he had to leave when you were born b-because he had to leave for work on the other side of the world and he never had time". Once again she sat there looking confused. "Daddyyyy" she screamed and raised he arms jumping onto him. I look at Grayson and he has tears in his eyes. They share a hug and Grayson has the biggest smile on his face. He opens his eyes and mouths 'thank you' to me.
For the rest of the day we stayed at home and they spent time together. It was now half 9 and she was getting tired. "You ready to go to bed?" I ask "Yeah can daddy put me to bed" we look at each other and we both have huge grins on our face. "Let's gooooo" Grayson said lifting her up and swinging her around while bringing her up to bed. I go up and watch him put her to bed. "I love you Tara" "I love you too daddy". I start to cry and he must of heard me because he turned around straight away. We walk downstairs and sit down but he sits right next to time.
"Grayson I think we can work this out... like as a real family" "Really?!" "Yea". He quickly smashes his lips onto mine. "Thank you so much I love you" "And I love you".
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