rehab (lashton//malum)

Chapter 5

Hes fine

he's fine michael breathe

i repeated to myself

i skipped every group today and it was currently 5pm and i was waiting with luke and ashton for calum to come back, we didn't know when but we knew today

"h-hi guys" calum said walking in the room

"fuck calum don't ever do that again" i said hugging him

"you scared us" luke said

"i'm sorry"

"did you have a realization of i don't actually wanna die like everyone else?" ashton said rolling his eyes

"no, still pretty suicidal, just with a scar now" calum laughed

"i'm glad you're okay man" ashton said

"i have a question" calum said

we all nodded as asking him to continue

"can we play never have i ever?"

we all laughed before agreeing, thinking he was gonna ask something serious

"i'll start, we'll raise our hands if we haven't, never have i ever kissed someone" luke said

i raised my hand along with ashton

"oooo luke and calum do tell"

"i kissed this girl a few years ago, we were dating but stuff happened, didn't work out" luke said

"i kissed my best friend, louis once"

"alright then i'll go, never have i ever broke a bone" ashton said and we all raised out hands

"never have i ever made myself throw up" i said and luke raised his hand, i looked around surprised that the other 2 boys had

"never have i ever attempted suicide" calum said and none of us raised our hands "do we wanna share? i mean you all know mine"

we nodded "i tried a few times none worked obviously but like i've overdosed a lot" like said

"i've tried to cut too deep, jump off a bridge, get hit by a car, drink basically everything" ashton said

"i've only tried once. i overdosed on dieting pills mixed with alcohol" i said

we all nodded

"never have i ever self harmed" ashton said and luke raised his hand "cal was the only time yesterday" he nodded "michael when"

"i've done it for awhile, on my stomach and a bit on my wrists, my stomachs the worst though"

"do you still?" calum asked

"yea"

"can i see it. in the bathroom but i don't get triggered by it and i'm gonna guess you don't either" i nodded and ash and i walked into the bathroom before i pulled up my shirt

"michael..." ashton sighed seeing open cuts on my stomach "mike did you bring a blade with you?"

i slowly nodded, ashamed of the fact

"were supposed to be getting better, but the both of us brought blades" ashton laughed

i smiled sadly at him knowing we shouldn't be laughing about hurting ourselves