Johnny's PoV
He's gone and I know I shouldn't be as sad as I am, considering all the things he's done to me. But I am.
Pony told me to write down my feelings if I don't want to talk to anyone about them. So I did that, with poetry.
No, not a lot of the things I wrote were any good, but it's the thought that counts.
I sat down at Ponyboy's desk and got out a pencil. I thought about what to write for a minute. What was I feeling right then?
I felt like I needed more than just one reason to be alive. More than just Ponyboy. So I tried to write about that.
Twinkle twinkle little star,
Dallas got hit by a car,
Wanna jump off a cliff so high,
Hope I break my neck and die,
Twinkle twinkle little bitch,
Dallas Winston you'll be missed.
I tried. Maximum effort.
I put the pencil down and left the room.
I walked downstairs, and saw Ponyboy sitting on the couch. "Hey Ponyboy,"
"Hey, did you write another poem?" He asked.
Sometimes I let him read them, because he likes my writing.
"Yeah. Wanna read it?" I asked.
He nodded. "Please."
I walked upstairs, and got the poem, slowly walking back down.
"Here," I handed him the small paper.
He read it, then re read it. "Johnny, 'Dallas got hit by a car'? What the hell?"
I just stayed silent, because there wasn't really anything to say.
"Wait. 'Wanna jump off a cliff so high, hope I break my neck and die'? Johnny." He sighed.
"I can't help it, it's supposed to get my emotions out, and if I wanna die, then that's what I have to write."
"I don't want to lose you," he said, his eyes slowly getting a wall of water along the bottom.
"Well, for now, you don't even have a chance. It's just a feeling right now."
"Johnny," he said while crying, and held his arms out, which I quickly ran into. "Please don't. I hate seeing you like this."
"I'm sorry Ponyboy," I felt horrible.
Just because I'm suffering inside, doesn't mean I have to make him suffer too.
I let go from our hug, and sat down. "Ponyboy, I'm trying to get better. I really am. It's gonna take a while, but I'll get there, okay?"
He smiled sadly at me. "I'll do anything I can to help,"
I leaned forward, intertwined my hands together. I know that Ponyboy's okay now, but I still
feel like something's wrong. That something, someday, maybe soon, is going to push me farther than Dally's death did.
I've had this feeling for a while, even before Dally's death, and let me tell ya, it's not a good feeling. It's like when you're about to do a big competition and you have that nervous feeling in your chest, but for me, it lasts longer. Way longer. And only goes away when I'm with Ponyboy.
Pony sat beside me and put his arm around my shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, Johnny."
We both leaned our heads back on the couch and fell asleep.
•••
I woke up and groaned.
I really didn't wanna be awake right then. I was way too tired.
"Pony?" My voice was still groggy.
I looked beside me, where Ponyboy once laid, but he wasn't there.
"Looking for someone?" I heard Pony laugh.
"Yes. You." I said.
"I was making a cake and a special breakfast. Today's Darry's birthday,"
I smiled. "It is?"
He nodded. "Wanna go say happy birthday to him?"
I nodded and we walked upstairs.
"Happy birthday Darry!" We both screamed.
He sat up quickly, and immediately smiled. "Thanks guys!"
"Here's your breakfast," Ponyboy handed him a tray that had waffles and whipped cream on it.
"Thanks Ponyboy," Darry smiled.
We walked out and let Darry eat. "He's 21 now, right?"
Ponyboy nodded. "Yep, and we're gonna give him a party. It doesn't have to be anything huge, he doesn't like big party's, so we can just have one at the park."
"Okay," I said and walked into the living room.
I sat down and started thinking about how Darry grew up too fast.
He's only 21 but works two jobs, is always stressed out, and thinks that his first priority needs to be taking care of Ponyboy and Soda.
Which, I guess makes sense because if anything happens they'll get sent to a boys home. But he still needs to have fun.
Darry walked downstairs and saw the cake that said "Happy 21st Darry!" and smiled. "Thanks a lot, whoever made that,"
Pony smiled sheepishly. "I did, and you're welcome,"
"Hey, Pone lets go to the park," I said.
He nodded and we walked there, and began to set up for the party. This is going to be a party that no one will forget. I'll make sure that it's amazing, Darry deserves it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICK SWAYZE❤️❤️❤️
