The Chairs Between Us

Five Violas

I was going to put MCR as the video but this is good too -Mad Dog

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The results of the auditions were posted after school. Everyone ran over to the theater to see their fate. Some people were filled with joy as they found their name towards the top of the list. While others like me found our names towards the bottom. 

Wow! Last chair again!

It is never shocking when I get assigned last chair. It still made me feel horrible though. The one problem is this year is different. 

There are five violas and four of them get stand partners while I am alone in the back. They might as well put a sign pointing me out as the worst musician.

 I swung my viola over my shoulder, plugged in my head phones, and began my journey home. Of course I forgot I was listening to My Chemical Romance before and I'm Not Okay started playing. 

Really.

It is one of my favorite songs but, I decided to skip it based on my current state of mind. 

As soon as I got home I locked myself away in my room. After about ten minutes, my viola ended up on the floor and my sheet music in the trash. I sat on the floor with my head in my hands. My eyes peered up at my wall. It was covered with pictures of my favorite musicians and tickets from various concerts. 

The biggest picture on the wall was of my orchestra last year. Our orchestra played Bohemian Rhapsody with Liam as the soloist. His music was so powerful that half of us forgot to play when the period of rest was over. He moved mountains in his performance and most of the audience was crying. 

I snapped back to reality and picked my music out of the trash. I grabbed my viola off the floor and walked out of my room.

My stepdad was in his chair watching TV like always and my mom was in the kitchen. I peeked my head in, "I am going out for a bit." 

She never really talks to me anymore so, she just nodded. 

She used to love hearing me play but, when my brother died it all was lost. When I practice in the house she yells for me to stop. That is why leave to practice every no and then. 

I walked out the door and down the street to our neighborhood park. 

Some people played with their dogs while others laughed with each other as they walked along. I set up under a giant oak tree. I love practicing here. I am free to play what I want. It is the only place where I don't see him.

My conductor always tells us to play exactly what's on the sheet but, I want to be different. Liam plays by the sheet, that is why people love him. People reject me because I play my own way. On the stage and in orchestra I am chained to music but, out here I am free. 

I lifted my bow to the string and played a smooth note. I began to play Uso to Honto from the anime, Your Lie in April . The piece was for violin but, I made to fit my viola. I made the song deeper and more meaningful. It was relaxed and I had made it my own.

A couple sat on the grass and watched me. They both had smiles on their faces. This morning at auditions people hated my sound but, now they are welcomed by it. This is who I really am. Out of the five violas, I am the one that does not have a place on the stage.