For All I Know (O2L/Youtubers)

1- be back soon enough

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" my mother asks me. Her hands are on my shoulders as her blue eyes search my face. I could clearly hear the uncertainty in her voice.

I nod with a smile, though inside, just the thought of leaving was tearing me up; even if it was only for a week.

"Call me if you need to talk," my mom says to me before giving me a kiss on the cheek. She let's go of me after a minute and strokes my long brown hair with her petite hand.

I nod once again and playfully shrug off her hand before flashing her another smile and turning to the street, where my two best friends sat in the car waiting.

I pulled my bags along side of me as I approached the vehicle, leaving my mother standing behind on the driveway. Elle, who was currently sitting in the drivers seat, got out to help me put my suitcases in the trunk.

"Thanks," I said graciously before walking to the side of the car and getting in. I plugged my phone into the outlet of the car, letting it charge while taking out a pair of crappy earphones.

"Are we all ready?" Elle asked enthusiastically when she hopped back into the car.

My other friend, Kate, and I nodded eagerly as she pulled out of my small neighbor hood.

I turned around and watched as my small, brick house faded out of view. I knew we would only be gone for a week, but it still pained me to leave. It had taken a lot of persuading to finally get me to go on this trip, and I was still a little wary about it. Who knows what could happen when three 18 year olds drive practically halfway across the country?

I saw my mom wave to me, and though I knew she couldn't see my hand, let alone my body, from outside of the car, I still rose it and waved back before settling into the seat once again.

"Bell, you alive back there?" Kate asks, using my popular nickname and turning around from the passenger seat to give me a questioning look.

Her voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I nod, fakely smiling.

"I just can't wait!" I lie. The truth is, I can wait. I'd be fine waiting for the next 5 years to go to California if it had been my choice. Only I didn't tell them that, because that'd only make them worry more. I plaster an over-enthusiastic smile on my face as we drive on.

God, I hated lying to them.

"Me too!" Elle exclaims from the drivers seat. I see her blue eyes flick to the rear view mirror to give me wink.

"The sun, the beach, the shops," Kate starts naming off of the places in an admiring tone.

"Don't forget," Elle says sternly, and serious enough to make Kate turn to look at her, before both of their faces broke out into wild grins.

"Vidcon!" they both shouted in unison, bursting out laughing as they did so.

I sat quietly behind them, giving them both a questioning look. They hadn't told me about this 'Vidcon', or whatever the heck it was.

"It's a convention for youtubers," Kate explains when they finally stopped laughing and saw my confusion. She flips her long red hair over her shoulder as she babbles on about the event, listing off all of the activities.

"Am I supposed to go?" My voice shakes as I ask this, and although it may come off as rude in your context, my friends seemed to totally understand.

"You don't have to," Elle says dully, though she perks up with her next sentence, "But it'd be awesome if you did!"

"I'll think about it" is my only response as I turn to look out the window.

They nod understandingly and I'm once again glad that I have such great friends. They listened and understood things that normal people wouldn't about me, something I greatly admired about them among all of the other two-faced drama queens that seemed to be overpopulating our school now-adays.

I had known them both since elementary school. The two were already best friends before I moved in right next to Elle, thus practically adopting me as their tiny, thirdwheel, sidekick.

Besides knowing each other since kindergarten and being great people to confide to, it was their happy-go-lucky and down-to-earth attitudes that made me like them so much. They were usually the only people I ever talked to, considering no one else ever really talked to me. But they understood that, and they were always there for me. I swear, sometimes they seem to even know more about myself, than I do.

But that wasn't the point. They knew my secret, and they knew ways to make me laugh even if I wasn't in the best mood.

I've had a serious case of depression and anxiety since I was 12. It's been 6 years now, and over time, things have seen to be getting increasingly worse. Everywhere I go I feel like people judge me; the way I act, how I talk, what I wear, how I look, etc. I was horrible with socializing and had always been extremely claustrophobic.

Though, now, as I'm sitting in Elle's red jeep, I come to think of the 'what-if's about my friendships with them.. What-if my 'best friends' had been set up? What-if they were my mom's only hope to pay them to hang out with me? Only when my I tune back into my friend's conversation about the latest celebrity drama, do I realize something. Sitting amidst it all, two people laughing and caring about me, do I convince myself that it's all real. At least, I hope it is.

first chapter! eh, what do you think?

this fanfic will contain some mild language, ill try to keep it to a bare minimum though. :)

fan/vote/comment/follow!

chapters in the future WILL get longer!

a picture of Arabella is to the side :)

-Sarah xx