For All I Know (O2L/Youtubers)

21- visitor

Arabella's pov/thoughts

I was shocked back to reality when wet tears began to drip from my eyes. They clouded my vision and I choked on my words. I owed Ricky an explanation, as well as all of the other guys.

I felt Ricky wrap his arms around me and I flinched at his tight grip. It was the type of hug that someone used on a person who was broken. They'd squeeze and squeeze, holding whoever it was for as long as they could, hoping to put the pieces back together. I had felt it multiple times before. I pulled away.

"I don't deserve this." I spoke my thoughts. Ricky stood with a confused look on his face. "All I've done is take and lie to you guys. I feel like shit because I have no way to repay any of you."

His gaze softened. His lips turned up at the ends, in the slightest hint of a smile. I looked at him through blurry eyes. He still cared, even when I had lied to him.

"You don't have to repay any of us," he reassured me, taking me in his arms once more. His large frame engulfed mine and I didn't turn away. "And call me crazy for saying this, but I forgive you."

We let go and he held me at arms length. Tears continued to flow as the realization of his words hit me. He forgave me. I engulfed him in another hug.

"I don't know what to say," I whispered in his ear as he lifted me off the ground.

He set me back down and I stepped back with a smile. A true smile. It hadn't dawned on me that this still didn't patch things up. But I at least had Ricky to hold on to as a small glimmer of hope. I couldn't be happier, let alone oblivious.

Ricky's pov/thoughts

Had I done the right thing? I didn't know. My mind has been a jumbled mess ever since I've met Arabella. And while she seemed generally happy about me forgiving her for lying, I still didn't see how all of this would go per with the other guys. There's no telling how they'll all feel when she tells them the truth. We're quite polar opposites when it came to reality.
I smiled down at Bella anyway. I could tell she was glad, and I didn't want to ruin the moment by worrying too much. It was up to Arabella when and how she'd tell all of the other guys, and I knew these things needed time.

"Let's get going," I told her, ending my train of thought. I didn't want to worry more than I needed to, and so far -though it's only been 2 minutes- that is all I have done.

Arabella nodded before opening the side door of my unlocked car. I went to the driver's side and got in myself.

The ride home was quiet. Every so often I'd look at Arabella through the corner of my eye, but it was hard to tell how exactly she was feeling. Let's just say she's good at hiding her expressions, which is probably why none of the other guys have caught on to her ginger actions and defensive structure.

"Home sweet home," I announced as we pulled into the driveway at the house. I turned to Arabella, who gave me a tight smile in response. I know I said I am trying not to worry too much, but I just might think I'm overdoing it.

Upon parking the car, Arabella was quick to get out and race to the side door. I followed behind her, though confused on why she seemed so eager to get out of the car.

Before entering, she turned to me with her hand still on the door knob.
"Please," she begged me, "Don't tell any of the others-"

"Arabella." I tried to cut her off but she was getting herself worked up. She began talking a-mile-a-minute.

"I know you want me to tell the other guys but I honestly don't know if I'm ready. It was hard to grasp that you knew, even though it was on different circumstances. I just don't want them or you to think anything less of me..." She blubbered out. Her breathing was speeding up and her pupils were dilating abnormally. I shook her, trying to bring her back to reality.

"I'll tell them on my own time, I promise..." She carried on. Though her eyes were staring back into mine, they were fear-stricken and seemed to be distant. I shook her even harder, not wanting her to have another panic attack. This time she thankfully stopped.

After catching her breath, she let her shoulders sag sadly.

"Sorry," she muttered, but I only nodded in response. I knew she didn't want to pulled into another one of my hugs. Her tiny frame still shook from her increased heart beat. But it was obvious that she didn't want sympathy.
Instead, she accepted my nod and turned to open the door once again. I stopped her this time.

"I won't tell anyone." She flinched when I laid my hand on her shoulder. "But please do not wait to tell the guys. I'm fine with you taking your time, but they need to know. I can't guarantee their reactions."

She nodding understandingly. She seemed lost in thought as we entered the house.

As soon as I shut the door behind us, someone screamed my name. Before I could react, a heavy body jumped on me from the side. I staggered to the right at the added weight, and ended up running us both into the wall.

The person laughed before hopping off of me. I saw who it was and quickly wrapped him into an unmanly hug.

"Matt!"

LA LA IM LATE IM SO SORRY
Sarah xo (: