Finding myself

Chapter 1

This morning, I received another few mails form my Dad about applying to different masters, which I marked read without reading again. If I continued, I am well aware that after the 10th email without replying I might have to avoid his calls too, I have already started saving excuse text on my phone. My mum has tried to reach me because I didn't send her a detailed report of my monitored activities two weeks in a row, she is now convinced I am experiencing my late -not so late- rebellious teen phase.  I might have to have to find something or I will soon be facing a very unpleasant visit of my very concerned parents.

I was looking at the last trends on internet. I decided some trends were ok but others completely indecent, I didn't know how those girls did it but I was not considering going to my morning lecture with a transparent top just hiding my nipple.  I thought about skipping morning class to go shopping but that was too extreme for me. I had to start with something appropriate. After debating how something bad was supposed to be appropriate. I settled myself with coming late to my 9 am class with a totally different outfit was a good approach. I have yet to find something sexy in my wardrobe. I didn't own a single pair of short, not even a skirt or any v-neckline T-shirt, I think I had to urgently notify my mum she was no longer the one choosing my clothes. My mum and I established that I was too young to have a good sense of fashion in high school. I really didn't care at any stage of my life what I was wearing as dating boys of my class was strictly unlawful and I was not to go to any parties so I really just wasn't bothered about what I was wearing in High School. In college, I just went along with my mum as she was sending me packages with designers clothes. My grandmother topped it up by sending amazing designer bags and shoes, she confessed that my mum had horrible taste and should come to her when needed. I really loved my grandma but she and mum never agreed on anything and I didn't want to be the subject of another quarrel between them.

I was facing a feeling of utter frustration that I had identified as a I-don't-have-anything-to-wear crisis, I was seating down in a bra and panty waiting for my ideal outfit to come together on its own. I was still deciding whether skipping class to buy an outfit in this exact moment of life crisis was still out of question or not.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on my door which was very uncanny and in my moment of distress I went to the door and slightly opened it not minding that I was in my Calvin Klein underwear. It was my slutty but nice neighbour, Jessica. She just entered without waiting to be invited, she was always very care free which could come off as impolite but living here for 3 years I was used to her and her invasive personality.

" Oh my God, I really thought you were dead or something, it's 7:50 am and you didn't open your door, I was going to surprise you by waiting at your door" she rambled, walking back and forth in my appartment. "I thought you were sick or something"

I just stared at her, asking myself how a 26-year old woman could talk this much without realising she was not welcomed and I really didn't have time for her.

"Oh, so, you are clearly not sick, nice undies by the way" She said with a wink."This is so unlike you, you are late, not dressed, it's like we exchanged body or something". She was always so clueless, and had a very restricted vocabulary, I rolled my eyes, if she compared herself to me again I might just put on my old jeans and T-shirt and forget about my transformation.

"Look, Jessica I don't want to sound rude but I really can't help you this morning, as you stated I am late and undressed"  I shrugged looking around at this point I was going to take a jean with a t-shirt and go to class. I will come up with a back up plan later.

She was looking at me, more precisely staring at my breasts, I was starting to feel uncomfortable in my undergarments.

"I didn't realize you had boobs, I mean you are really blessed they look huge, wait what size are you? They are certainly bigger than mine and I am a C-cup" she screamed.