"You don't get it, that boy was born lost, like his daddy, he's been slipping through my fingers ever since the day I gave birth to him. It's his father's darkness, you leave him alone and he'll head straight towards death."
Once you had to put the...
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Waking to the sound of screams that weren't my own, it wasn't welcomed but it was a new experience. Throwing my body up as quickly as I could I quickly ran outside seeing everyone trying to throw water on the fire, trying to put it out. I stood there, watching as the flames licked the air, burning all the good air surrounding it as people tried desperately, desperate. So desperate. I watched the men and woman crying trying to understand what happened. "Stop they're gone."
"We have to save the water for when we need it. It'll fade soon." My father called out walking off with Jeremiah. I couldn't stop the frown on my lips as I watched them walk away. When the morning came I sat there, in my bed, blankets off. I didn't have anything to do, not much I could contribute to here. Hearing a knock come at my door I rolled off opening it seeing Jeremiah there.
"Can I help you?" I asked him with a small frown.
"You are my friend Eirik Luther's little girl...Kali. Come walk with me. I haven't seen you since you were such a little girl." Jeremiah commented and I frowned putting my shoes on and walking out of the house with him. "I remember you when you was a little girl, biggest damn grin I'd ever seen. You'd run for miles, more fearless than my boys were when they were young. Your father, he funded me some large money. I admit I was shocked a man such as him even invested in here...but he told me, if shit did hit the fan he always needed to have a backup plan to get him the hell out of dodge. Smart man, not a good man."
"I don't see your point." I commented with a frown.
"He bought a harp here, in case you ever visited. You can come whenever you want, play it whenever you want, not many musicians around here." Jeremiah shared with a small smile opening a door which I walked through and my eyes set on a beautifully crafted harp. I let my fingertips dance over the strings as I wondered if I even remembered how to play it. Letting my finger pluck the string strongly I frowned retracting my hand as if I was burned.
"I don't play." I shared, my voice cold and harsh, monotone. I'd tried my best to deny my past. I didn't want to be anything like how I was. To detach myself of who I used to be, it was the only thing I would allow myself to do.
"I heard you were an amazing harpist. Dealt with your own demons right?" Jeremiah asked with a soft smile.
"No, I never could. But that'll change soon." I shared with him, I couldn't take my eyes off the harp. Jeremiah must have noticed.
"Folks say you should hit rock bottom before you can quit your demons." Jeremiah shared with a small laugh.
"I think I've already hit rock bottom. I'd drink every hour of the day, no matter what I was doing. I've been so terrified that I woke myself up screaming. I've already fallen so far I don't think I can fall anymore." I shared with him trying to ignore the pain in my chest, trying to lurch free. But I was just something broken at the end of it.
"The moment we believe we can't fall any further...that's when it happens. When we do hit rock bottom. We might not realise it sometimes but we fall so far it's impossible to climb back up, so you're left fending for yourself in a new and dangerous situation. You seem like a bright young girl Kali but perhaps you're still falling." Jeremiah shared with me walking out and I was tempted to follow but my eyes drifted to the harp and I sat down on the chair, my arms wrapped on either side as my fingers glided over the strings. I ignored the pain in my fingertips, the fresh skin ripping, tearing as I didn't stop playing, plucking the strings trying to urge the quiet sound to carry louder and louder by the moment. I closed my eyes momentarily lost in the music as my fingers brushed down the strings, playing intensely, feeling myself getting lost in the music. I knew I was trying to detach myself from the tragic little victim I used to be, but something always brought me back when it came to music. To the harp. It was peaceful. Calming. It was something I couldn't quite shake...not when I could feel the blood dripping from my fingertips down the strings in one seductive manner.
"Kali" I heard Jake breath out. Turning my attention to him, a small frown set in motion as I kept my blue eyes on him, unmoving, cold. He tore my hands away from the strings and I glanced down at them, my lips twitching into a smile as a manic laugh slipped from my mouth, my body shaking, throwing my head back as my body shook with laugher. Pure enjoyment. I couldn't believe what happened, I'd been so engrossed playing the harp I'd forgotten everything. Forgot where I was for a second, I missed the magic a simple tune could make. As I glanced up at Jake I burst out laughing so hard I didn't notice the small tear slip from the corner of my eye, or the many that followed after. I felt him pull me up wrapping his arms around me as I couldn't stop laughing, the tears never falling just like the song of my laugher never ceased. Not until I had realised the damp secretion of liquid from my eyes, was my tears. Oh how right Jeremiah was. I still had yet to break. I still had yet to fall apart, to hit rock bottom. SO I sat here waiting in anticipation for myself to break. I'd settled down, I sat on my porch sitting across from a bottle of whiskey. I would have called it my old enemy but it was my numbness, my coping mechanism. I felt someone walk up sitting down next to me. My eyes set on him, surprised to see Nick.
"Luciana left." Nick muttered turning his head down in grief. "I didn't know how it felt, someone you loved, leaving you. Now I do...Thing is I remember that night telling her the story of the two people that died in the fire. How they met in the Korean war, she was his nurse, he told her he'd marry her, and she said I know. Doesn't that story just seem a little too perfect?" Nick asked with a broken expression taunting his face.
"It does. I know I would give anything to have a love story like that. That perfect...who knows, maybe we'll get it. We don't know." I shared with a small smile letting my hand rest on his.
"I didn't realise you were drinking again." Nick pointed out.
"I'm not, I was thinking, if I were to relapse I know no one would care. I'm the girl that won't survive. I'm not going to survive and I've made my peace with that, but as long as I get to live as much as I can in the time that remains does it really matter? I'll get love, revenge, a short blissful happiness. I'll feel as if I have purpose, I'm going to forget who I was in the past because I don't like who I was now. Do you want to join me on this new adventure?" I asked him meeting his gaze, I had no idea what was running through his hear but now it didn't matter, it was simple, I wasn't going to do anything I didn't want to do, I wasn't going to be who I didn't want to be. It was a new me and I would have no room for remorse or guilt.
"I'll join you." Nick agreed nodding slowly. A smile formed on my lips happy he'd finally decided to join me. I never thought he would.
