I wake up to the sound of a phone call. It's my mum. I quickly stretch and happily answer the phone to be greeted by the sound of my mothers cries.
Hearing the news I shut my phone of and violently throw it into the wall.
Screaming I grab my hair in my hands and try to rip it out. I'm pretty sure jacks out so I won't need to worry about him.
I grab a bottle of vodka and whisky with a few packets of unopened cigarettes and throw myself on the balcony.
Hitting the hard brick wall with every possible park of my body I slide down the glass door.
This would be the day I never want to remember.
I grab the two bottles and chug them both down not caring if I got poisoning. Anyways I could just throw up in the bucket.
I open the packets of cigarettes and light one up after the other.
A full packet later and another bottle downed I can barley see anything.
I hear the door open and see jack run towards me.
He moves my head and slaps the sides to see if I was respondent.
" Natalie how much have you had" he asks looking at the empty bottles and cigarettes.
"I only smoked 2 cigarettes .. times.. ten?" I slur with a bottle in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
"Come on Natalie you can't stay here it's not safe" jack try's to help me up while grabbing the lit cigarette and placing it in his mouth.
"What. On our balcony. There's a barrier. Separating me from my freedom" I continue to slur moving out of his grip.
He eventually gets me to my room where he seemed to be calling someone as he exits. Maybe needing a hookup after all of this.
I go into my bathroom and see puke in my hair.
I have makeup smudged all over my face, tears down the sides of my swollen cheeks and I have bruises all over from hitting things.
When someone takes your one will to continue to go on. How do you continue?
My mums mum. We were closer than any family member could be. She was like a very old sister to me.
It's cancer. It was cancer. She didn't die peacefully and that's what killed me the most.
--
Double updateeee
Better say Q
