Picking up the Pieces

Cold Conscience

Julian:
I was so happy when we kissed and I got even happier at the fact that he stayed the night.It was so incredibly nice not having to sleep alone for once in so long.The last Time I had someone to cuddle while falling asleep was 2 years ago when I dated this guy who was an absolute asshole.We only dated for 2months and I'm glad he moved because even though I didn't love him I couldn't bare telling him that.Eventually we lost contact and I never saw him again.But that didn't matter right now,what mattered was Ding Dong.
I love him,I really do.It makes me feel kinda stupid because we don't know each other for that long but it's whatever.
When I woke up I was facing his back and he held my arm which I had around him.I was amazed at how cute he was and I really didn't wanna wake him but I sadly had to because we have school.
„Dingus"I touched his back with my hand and tried to gently wake him up. Eventually he woke up when I said his name again.Ding Dong immediately let go off my arm and turned around and looked at me with shock.About 10seconds later he realised what happened last night and just closed his Eyes again.
„You know we have school right?"
„nooo"He pulled the blanket over his head and curled up to a ball.
„I can't stay home another day or else my mum will be upset with me"I got up and walked to my closet to look for clothes to wear.
„I really don't wanna go.I feel like shit"When I took a pair of black jeans out of my closet and a sweater I went to my bed and sat down next to Ding Dong.
„If you don't feel good you should stay home."He nodded and leaned a bit forward to hug me.
„You can also stay here If you want,My mum won't be back until I am"
He nodded and then rested his back on my shoulder.
„That'd be nice.Thank you Julian"I hugged him even tighter and this made me just wanna stay here forever and cuddle him.I kissed his neck a few times and then let go off him to get changed and go to school.He held his neck and let himself fall into my bed.When I walked to my bathroom and got changed,I looked into the mirror and made my hair.My hair just looked like shit and there was nothing I could do so I just left it like that.I have 3hours today so who fucking cares how I look.I walked back into my room and saw Dingus cuddled up in my blanket almost asleep again.
He turned around and looked at me when I pit on my shoes and took my backpack.Ding Dong reached out his hand for me to take it,so I did and walked over to him.I looked at him and then bend down to kiss him.
„I'll be back in like 3 hours.I love you"
„I love you too"It made my heart stop when he said that and it just made me feel so good.
I walked out of my room and my house and then made my way towards school.All I wanted is to get back home as fast as possible to go back to Ding Dong.

(sorry for changing the pov whoooops)
DingDong:
I wanted to go back to sleep because I was so tired but I couldn't.At this point I was just lying in Julian's bed starring at the ceiling.I was kinda scared to do anything even though no one was and Julian would probably not care.Instead of looking around his room I took my backpack and got my lighter and my cigarettes out of it.I would also feel guilty as hell If I just looked around his house or his room.
After I got up I went over to his balcony and sat down on the wooden floor of it.I'm hoping Julian doesn't think smoking is disgusting because I tried to stop a few times and I don't think I can not even for Julian.
When I finished my cigarette I just threw it off the balcony.I got really bored so I just tried to fall back asleep and for once I was lucky and actually fell asleep.
About some time later I woke up through the loud sound of the front door getting shut violently and someone yelling 'Fuck'.Julian.
He sounded very upset and I really wanted to leave the room and go check on him but once again I was too scared.
Luckily a few Minutes later he came into his room and I immediately wished I would've gone to school with him.
„julian...fuck"I got out of his bed and walked over to him.He was crying and his face was covered in blood.I can already imagine what happened and it made me feel terrible.This should've been me.
I hugged him as tight as I could while he was crying onto my shoulder into 'my' sweater.I didn't know what to say or what to do all I could was just hug him and feel guilty.
„this should've been me,this is my fault,god I'm so sorry Julian.I'm so sorry"I was fighting back tears but I failed.It didn't take long until I was ugly crying onto Julian's shoulder as well.
„It's not,don't say that."I let go of him and looked at him.He looked terrible yet still beautiful.
„I love you Julian"
„I love you too"He walked into his bathroom probably to clean his face so I followed him.I sat down on the bathtub while he was standing in front of the mirror.
„you still look good"I could see him smile which made me happy.Julians smile is the cutest.
After he cleaned the blood from his face he sat down next to me.
„I really love you I hope you know that"No one ever has really loved me so It's kinda shocking that someone I met not that long ago does.
„I love you too Julian,a lot"I turned my head and kissed him.This all makes me so happy can this stay forever?

---------
Henlo.
btw here's Update no one cares about.
So about this guy.I told him I was sorry for telling him I liked him,We texted until I went to bed.Next morning I looked if he texted me back and he fucking deleted his Twitter account.I don't have any other way to contact him and it frustrates me that I ruined this just by telling him that I liked him.
I never met someone before who is from the same country as me who likes OneyPlays and is so sweet and who actually cared about me and who was worried about me. I hate this