Lucky (EXO Series III)

ix

Because not everything falls perfectly.
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ix

Seth

“What happens when you realize you don’t love me anymore?” I looked straight to her eyes as I asked.

Pumunta ako sa apartment nila after our first day in school. We were on our first year in College. I was bothered by the very question I threw at her at hindi ako mapakali kaya pinuntahan ko siya.

She was startled. I saw how shock flashed in her beautiful set of brown eyes.

“What are you saying, Seth? That would never happen.”

She sounded so sure. Pero gusto ko pa ring malaman. “Would we still be friends kahit na hindi mo na ako mahal? Would you still care for me? Magkikwento ka pa kaya sa akin? Tell me, Bianca.”

Her expression turned from shock to blank, annoyed. “Don’t ask me those kinds of questions, Seth. Alam mo na kahit kelan, hindi mangyayari ‘yang iniisip mo.”

“But I still wanna know.”

“Stop that, okay?” medyo galit niyang sabi. “Stop asking things like that. Hindi pa tayo nagtatagal, nagda-doubt ka na sa pagmamahal ko.”

She stood up and walked away from me.

That moment, I realized I made a mistake on doubting her feelings for me. I have been with her for so long to not be assured na what we have was really something special. Isang buwan mahigit pa lang kami pero naiisip ko na ‘yung mga bagay na tulad nito. Pero hindi ko maiwasan. Hindi ako sanay na hiwalay siya sa’kin, na malayo siya. It has only been a week, pero pakiramdam ko, isang taon na akong wala sa tabi niya.

And now, I finally proved to myself na mahirap kapag malayo ka sa taong mahal mo.

I followed her to her room pero hindi niya ako pinapasok. I knew I hurt her. Hinayaan ko na muna siya.

The next day, I went to her apartment again. We talked about the fear that’s starting to build up inside me. The fear of losing her dahil sa distance na meron sa’min.

“You don’t have to worry nor be scared of losing me, Seth, because that will never happen,” she told me. “Malayo man ako sa’yo, you are always in my thoughts and in my heart. Ikaw at ikaw lang ang mahal ko.”

I looked up at her. “Thank you, Bee. But just in case that happens, tell me honestly, okay?”

She nodded and gave me a quick hug.

I’m just a man in love. A man who gets scared of having her girl stolen by some other guy. I’m just a man who is afraid of losing the woman I love.

Simula nang maging kami ni Bianca, I already started preparing myself to the possibility na mahuhulog siya sa iba. Because of our distance, she may miss me so much to the extent of seeking for comfort from other people, from other guys. Hindi ko sinasabing ganung klase ng babae si Bianca. But she’s just a girl who needs comfort and constant assurance na importante siya.

Natakot lang din ako na baka kapag may nagpakita ng pagpapahalaga sa kaniya habang malayo ako, makalimutan niya ako bigla. I know it’s wrong to doubt her but I still couldn’t help it.

When she told be about Sean, her classmate na nagpapakita ng interes sa kaniya, my heart was terribly shaken. She took it lightly pero kinabahan ako. That’s why I told her to keep her distance from him.