International Love. ✈ z.h.

eighteen ~ ❝memories❞ ✈

*mentions of self-harm in this chapter*

Niall's Pov

I was tying my apron to my waist as I prepared for work, my phone buzzing non stop as i furrowed my brows and saw Louis' name with the number ten next to him. I guess his date had gone so well last night that he didn't want to wait until he showed up for work to tell me all about it. But unfortunately I couldn't answer; the manager caught me texting Zayn last week, and I didn't want to get suspended from work for another act that could've easily been avoided.

So I just shrugged and grabbed my notepad and pen, making my way towards the register to greet guests while Lily took them to their seats. Due to being so distracted by my phone I hadn't even bothered to look at who was first in line yet, already grabbing a couple of menus to hand to Lily before I looked up and started off with the usual greeting.

"Hi, welcome to—" I cut myself off as my blue eyes met with brown, my heart racing as his face became all too familiar. I shook my head, trying to keep my cool but it was impossible; after the trauma he caused me, it was only natural for my body to react the way that it did. I started to sweat, my entire body shaking as the adrenaline coursed through my veins. He didn't even recognize me, his brows furrowed in confusion as he scoffed to his little group of friends.

"So...do we just sit wherever or not?" I couldn't even respond, anger and fear mixing to form a strange emotion that I couldn't even name as Lily walked up with a look of concern.

"Niall? Niall what's wrong?"

"Shawn," I'd managed to stutter, watching as again he looked confused but soon turned his attention to Lily.

"Well, hey beautiful." He openly flirted with her, the action making me sick as I stumbled back towards the wall. Her arms were quick to steady me, my vision getting blurry as I fell to the ground and tears streamed down my face.

"Niall? Niall! Stay with me!" But I couldn't hear her anymore as I fell back into the very same memories that I'd try so hard to block out, letting their painful arms latch onto me and drag me into the darkness.

We walked hand in hand down the school hallways, fingers intertwined while I leaned my head against his shoulder. Shawn was happily droning on about he'd aced his math quiz, something we'd both been excited about since that was the one subject he couldn't ever quite grasp. I could barely make out what he was saying; I was too lost in his brown eyes to focus on his voice.

We'd been dating for two months now, going without a single problem. Well, unless you counted his old friends. When they found out that we were together and that he was gay, they shunned him and proceeded to terrorize us whenever they could. I felt terrible but Shawn didn't mind it; he'd rather be with the person that made him happy than continue faking who he really was as a person.

I was worried that someday his so called "friends" were going to take up on the many threats that they threw at us on the daily, yet he always told me not to worry. At the same time I knew that he was upset that his friends turned on him so quickly; he never told me but I knew.

He always told me that nothing would ever get in between us; what an unbelievable lie that was.

"Niall? Niall baby wake up." I furrowed my brows as I blinked, gathering my surroundings and giving a soft smile as I tilted my head. I felt terrible; his eyes were puffy from crying as his hands slowly rubbed up and down my arms.

"Hi, baby," I mumbled, realizing that I was on my couch in my apartment instead of work. "What happened?"

"You passed out at work love. Lily called and by the time I got to you the cops had arrived and were taking Louis away in handcuffs. Some guy was being carried away by the paramedics." I grunted as I tried to sit up, all of it rushing back to me as I sighed and shook my head.

"Shawn."

"Huh?"

"The guy Louis was probably beating up? His name is Shawn, and if Louis hadn't done it you probably would have." Zayn's brows furrowed as I leaned my head against his shoulder, fighting off the headache that formed just from saying his name.

"Why would I do that Ni?" I bit my lip; at this point there was no use in hiding any of my past from him, and as far as I knew, Zayn wouldn't judge me for a situation that I had no control over anyway.

"I knew him back in my high school days. He was my boyfriend at the time. Or, fake boyfriend. I don't know what to call him, but in the end it was all a lie. After gaining my trust he led me to a park late at night where his friends were waiting. Actually, a bunch of twats is what they were; they used to pick on Harry all the time." Zayn raised a brow at that one, making me laugh as he chuckled.

"Sorry babe, but they used to pick on six foot something Harold? Muscle toned, Harry? Kind of hard to believe."

"Harry didn't always look that way, Zee. But, anyways, they were waiting for us at the park and they ambushed me. I begged for him to help but he just laughed and joined in on the fun. They'd beaten me so badly that I couldn't even walk. Harry was the one who found me." His fists were clenched as he tried hard not to break, frustrated tears threatening to spill as he brought me close and kissed my forehead.

"The betrayal you must have felt I'm so so sorry Niall. I'm kind of regretting not jumping for the asshole when he was already down." I only shook my head as I wiped my own tears, bringing my wrists up to him and giving him a sad smile. He furrowed his brows then looked, gasping at my faded scars as he brought them to his chest and gently rubbed his fingers over them.

I'm disappointed to say that I'd turned to self harm to help cope with what happened to me, but it was something that I hadn't done in so long that it rarely crossed my mind. I was better now, but I think seeing Shawn so suddenly and unexpectedly caused me to lose my mind for a few moments.

He brought out a dark, cold part of me that I'd gained control of many years ago, and it was scary that it'd happened so quickly and without warning. But as soon as it came it was gone, because Zayn's warmth had scared it away. His soft lips pressed a kiss to each and every one of my scars, then stopped at my lips as he rested his forehead against mine.

"I'm so sorry Niall. But I promise you, that I'll make sure nobody ever hurts you like that, ever again."

I believed him.

a.n.

*me, listening to throwbacks* LIT BITCH

m xx