International Love. ✈ z.h.

twenty-three ~ ❝home again.❞ ✈

Niall's Pov

I was quiet as my mother drove through the streets of my home town, the two of us wanting to enjoy the unstrained silence for as long as we could before I went home. When my mother found out about what Zayn had done and how I reacted, she reprimanded both me and him, even though he wasn't there.

Of course she was upset that Zayn had done what he did to me, but she was also very upset that I hadn't called her or my friends to help console me. Though she'd ripped me a new one she was just glad that Harry had found me when he did, calling him my "fallen angel" once again as I told her that I'd pack my things and buy a ticket as soon as I got off the phone with her.

Now I was here, with my backpack in the trunk and the comforting presence of my mother wrapping around me like a safety blanket as I sighed and leaned my head against the window. She didn't try to comfort me with words; instead she lie a hand on my thigh and gave a gentle squeeze and then patting it twice, her small way of letting me know that everything was going to be okay.

Sooner than I thought we'd pulled up to my old home, a small sigh escaping my lips as I got out of the car with my mother and reached for my bag. She placed her arm around my shoulders as we walked up together; thank god for her for being my personal crutch at the moment.

"I've already informed your father and your brother about what happened if that's okay; I just wanted them to know not to push you too hard while you're here."

"That's okay Mom; thank you." I grinned, giving her a small kiss on the forehead as she led me inside. Dad immediately yanked me into his arms, his strong grip comforting as I allowed myself to fall into it and gave a heavy sigh.

"Hi, Dad."

"Glad you're home, son."

"Where's Greg?"

"He's out with Denise and Theo; but as soon as he heard that you were going to come home for a while he made sure to clear the rest of his day so he could come see you." The thought made me grin as I set my things down by the stairs, placing my hands into my pockets.

"I'd like that. I'm happy that I'm home, I haven't been here in ages."

"Damn right, you haven't. It's good to see you son, not for the best of reasons, but good nonetheless."

I sat on the couch across from my parents as I leaned my head back, allowing myself to finally relax after all the chaos that I'd encountered. Sooner than I thought, I started to doze off to the sound of my parent's whispers and the soft noise of the television, finding what I haven't felt in a rather long time.

Peace.

Zayn's Pov

What I would give, just so that I could have peace of mind right about now.

I couldn't help but pace the foyer of my loft in London as I tried not to let my thoughts completely consume me, Niall being the main person that was on my mind. All I could think of was his eyes, his lips, his laugh, his touch, his smell. Everything about him continued to swirl in my mind, because I knew what I did.

I took his heart and nurtured it, brought it back to what it used to be and I was so, so happy that I could do that for him. But then I'd also been the person that ripped it all the way apart again, a part of me thinking that this time, there was no way that anybody, even me, could repair it.

And for what? So that I could keep my career as a singer? So that I could continue doing what I love? What I loved most was Niall and I already fucked it all up. Did I really deserve to keep my job as a pop star now? I didn't even feel that I deserved it.

Just as I could feel my thoughts begin to be too much I felt my phone go off; it was an email from my management.

You did the right thing, Zayn. Now, when would be a good time to set up a meeting and discuss future interviews and how we should clean up this mess? Tomorrow? A week from now?

Yeah, right thing my ass. I ignored the email and instead checked my messages, one of them being from Perrie to see if I was alright and another being from Harry, Niall's best friend. Seeing his name in bold because I hadn't read the message yet made me extremely nervous, my finger hovering slightly over his name as I took a deep breath and tapped it.

Don't even think about calling Niall ever again. I don't know what you did, or why you did it, but it was enough to make him want to hurt himself. Yes, he's fine, and no, he's no longer your concern anymore. Do us all a favor and fuck off.

I couldn't exactly being angry with Harry for feeling the way he felt, but none of it mattered as I reread the words that he'd messaged me. Niall had hurt himself? Because of me? Dozens of questions ran through my mind, the biggest one being if he would ever forgive me.

I wouldn't blame him if he didn't.

Just as I thought matters couldn't get any worse, Liam was calling me, a rather long sigh escaping my lips as I prepared myself for whatever it was that he was going to scream into my ear.

"Hello?"

"Zayn! What the fuck? Like...just what the fuck? What is wrong with you have you gone mad?!"

"Liam—"

"No, I'm not going to let you talk because what you've done is absolutely mental! Breaking up with Niall and tossing him aside like he's nothing and then you turn around and get engaged to Perrie like? I thought that relationship was fake!"

"Wait a minute—"

"I already said I'm not going to let you talk!"

"Liam, wait! Engaged? What the fuck do you mean engaged?"

"Your management released a statement this morning? Zayn...what exactly is going on?" I couldn't even answer because I dropped my phone from the shock, sitting down on my couch as I ran my hands through my hair.

Engaged. Engaged. Engaged.

Engaged.