Mushaboom • Daryl Dixon

17

Rachel

When I woke up, I sat up to see the tent was pretty much empty. Daryl was outside, and most of the stuff had been packed already. He remained extremely quiet and tense all morning. I knew he was being that way because of last night. Last night. I felt bad for pushing that onto Daryl. I just got too wrapped up in that moment and things became pretty heated. I wouldn't initiate that kind of thing again; I hoped I didn't ruin anything. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I never wanted him to feel uncomfortable with me.

Marco and Ricky decided to hike and take a few pictures as we started to pack up our small camp. Daryl's movements were harsh and fast, and he wouldn't look me in the eyes. He seemed to just want to get out of the whole situation as quick as possible. Daryl and I stayed silent for a few minutes until I couldn't stand it anymore. I stopped loading up the car and faced him as he stood in the back, loading up his share. I was hesitant but finally called out to him.

"Hey Daryl.."

He looked up as he continued to pack the car up.
"Look, about last night-"

"Rache.. I don't wanna talk about it."

"But I think we should." We both met each other with the same tone. Neither of us would budge with this one.

"Well I don't wanna!"

"Daryl, just listen."

"Nah Rachel! S'nothing to talk about! Just drop it. Damn!" He shoved the last of the stuff into the trunk and slammed it shut.

"Dammit Daryl- I'm sorry Kay? I didn't mean to over step anything! I thought it was fine, I didn't mean to-I never wanted to upset you!"

Yeah well I never wanted ya throwing' yourself at me!"

I laughed in disbelief and anger washed over me. "You serious? Sorry for trying to tend your insecure ass!" I bit my tongue.

Daryl scoffed. "Ya got some nerve. Ya know that?" He took a step closer. His whole body was tense; his eyes were hard.

"No Daryl! You don't get to treat me like shit just 'cause you're afraid!" I took half a step closer, trying to be careful with how I was approaching him but I was too upset.

"I ain't afraid of nothin'!"

"That's bullshit Daryl!"

"You don't know what you're talking 'bout Rachel. Just stop!" He turned his back and shifted as one hand went to the back of his head. He began to pace. Fury radiated off of him.

"When are you gonna get that you don't have to push me away? That I'm not them? I'm sorry Daryl! And I'm sorry that I can't be enough for you!" I stormed off. I took maybe 6 steps before I felt his rough hand wrap around my wrist. I turned to him sharply. His shoulders were raising and falling rapidly. His hands were trembling.

"Dammit Rachel- I'm just scared kay?" His voice cracked. He sounded urgent, and broken. "I ain't ever been this close with anyone! I don't- I don't wanna fuck things up." His chest was heaving, I rarely saw Daryl in this kind of state.

"Things always go wrong. I don't want this to go wrong! I-I'm trying, but some stuff ain't coming natural. It's hard for me. It ain't-"

"I know Daryl! I didn't mean to push anythi- I'm sorry! I'm sorry." Daryl shook his head and began to pace again. This time it wasn't hostile.