Mushaboom • Daryl Dixon

5

Daryl

I couldn't stay away from my people at the prison, not with the shit we started that night with the Governor. There had to be a way for it to all work out. But in that moment, we were out in the woods alone. And I was right back to where I was before we got separated. Following right behind him.

Merle refused to go through any houses, or near the stream. We'd been walking by ourselves for hours, and any idea I'd put out, he'd shoot down. I definitely had my brother back. But as much of an asshole he was, I wasn't gonna leave him again. Rick understood. Merle knew it too. But I knew things would eventually work out at the prison. Everyone would get along, learn to live with each other. They had to. There had to be another other way.

Merle was always right, Merle knew best. He'd get himself into trouble, I'd try to get us out. It was a cycle. And I didn't want to get stuck in it again. I hated who I was when I was with him. I thought I had gotten away from it. The group, they were my family. They respected me, looked to me when shit hit. They were good to me, and I had done right by them.

Merle, he thought everything was a game, a competition, and I'd always play along. But I was done. After an eventful couple of hours, and a some confrontation, I went back to the prison, back to my people. And this time, Merle was the one following me, and for a beat, with his tail between his legs.

I knew it would be rough, keeping him in check, making it work with the others, especially after what he did to Glenn and Maggie.. But we were making it work.

It was supposed to work.

It could've..

The Governor had no desire to just let things be. And Merle- Merle wanted to make it right. He let Michonne go, after taking her away, planning to her to give her up to the Governor.  He let her go, and he went to the meet up spot anyways. It just never crossed my mind that before he left would be the last time I'd have my brother around. He didn't say goodbye or nothing. He was just gone. All he left was a trail for me to pick up and find him. And I found him..

I was laid out on the field, my arms and legs were too heavy to move. My eyes, too heavy to look anywhere but straight ahead at the sky. I heard some walker eating not too far, I heard the wind, the trees moving. The image of my dead brother played over and over in my head. His eyes were gone. My brother was gone.

I was angry. Angry for everyone I had lost, everything I had been through. And I took it out on him. I didn't just put him down, I left him unrecognizable.. But now- I just felt tired. I just wanted to rest.

It didn't make sense, him going there alone, letting Michonne go. Him taking out those men. He had to have known it was a suicide run.. I'd just gotten him back. I wanted us to start over.. I wanted him to get a second chance like I did. I wanted a lot of things to be different.

------------------------

I stayed there for a while longer. But I knew I had to get back home, to my family. We had to prepare for an attack that was inevitable. I pulled myself up, and grabbed my bow. My eyes went straight to Merle's body and I winced at the sight. My breath hitched, but I wouldn't cry no more. I took in a deep breath and looked around for something to cover him.

I found a tarp in the back of a truck, and brought it over to Merle. I'd come back and bury him once we took care of the Governor. I stepped beside my brother and knelt down. I let my head fall foreword and I rested it on his chest. A part of me felt he did this for me. I only ever wanted his respect.. I loved Merle, despite of how much of an asshole he was. I loved my brother.