Mushaboom • Daryl Dixon

13

Rachel

I woke up to a brighter room. The sun must've been coming up. I turned around and looked down. It was so quiet, and Daryl wasn't there. It scared me for a moment. But I quickly reminded myself that this place was secured, that he probably was just up and looking around.. But when I looked out the window, there was smoke coming from behind a wall.

I grabbed my gun and climbed down. I was able to make my way through the building with ease, but as I rounded a corner, I stopped at one of the windows.

There was a fire. But it was okay. Daryl came walking out, holding a body, wrapped up in bed sheets. I watched him, feeing this warmth I hadn't felt in a very long time. Daryl. The same Daryl that went out and looked for food to feed his people, the one who came looking for me when I was gone too long, the one who dropped everything in hopes of maybe getting someone he loved back.

I felt weary as I watched him gently put the body into the fire. My heart ached, but I felt grateful for what he was doing. For them.. For me.

I rounded the corner and stepped outside, finding him carrying the smaller body. He put her down as careful as possible without burning himself. He had heard me come out, and only glanced my way. I stared down at the fire.

"Thank you." I whispered. He dipped his head down; I looked back to him and took the sight of him in. His messy hair that allowed him to hide behind it, his tensed shoulders, his hands- slightly fidgeting..

Daryl..

He had been so kind to me. So patient, and so cautious.. And I wanted to be the same in return. I tried at times. I wanted to be.

But he left. He left. That would always be there. It would be there despite how familiar and comforting it was being near him now and last night. How nice it felt to tell him things, like back at the church. To talk. I had missed him. More than I would've ever imagined in the last thirteen years.

But he left. He left when he could've stayed..

I frowned. I knew why he did. To him, it was a selfless act. But it hurt me. It killed me. And it killed me when I saw him three days ago. It killed me when it felt so relieving to talk to him, because it would always hurt. It would always be there. All of it. Before. And now. And the in between with his absence. It killed me.

And now we were here. Standing here, watching those bodies burn. Another selfless act. Those bodies meant something. He had no clue, but still, he did this. He did this and it weighed so damn heavy on me. All of it did..

And I wanted to let it all out. I wanted to talk about everything, to ask him why, and what happened. I wanted to ask him how it was seeing me, what he wanted to say. Cause I knew for a fact there was so much he needed to say. But he wouldn't. Not until I was ready.

And now was not the time.

I had no clue when. But we couldn't now. We had to get his person back. We had to get back to our people, and find a place for us to stay. There was so much we had to do.. Maybe there would never be a time. And maybe that would be for the best.

I took in a deep breath. I'd have to let it all go again. If we were to help each other now, if we were to survive and live with each other, it had to be let go.