Permanent Love • bellarke

• NINE •

{11 months later}

[Clarke]

''Are you ready to meet New York properly?'' 

I glance at the boy standing in front of me and then I look at myself through the mirror. My blonde and very curly hair is wet and I'm wearing an uncomfortable summer dress. 

''Can I just change first?'' I question politely, biting my lip nervously.

''You already changed twice, Clarke..'' He sighs. ''But of course you can. I just don't get why you're so nervous,''

''Thanks, Finn.'' I smile at him, going to the bathroom.

The dress falls to the ground. My fingers run my hair, brushing it. I let a deep sigh escape from my mouth, I'm nervous. I'm so nervous. He might be anywhere, I might find him across the street; I just don't know if I'm ready to see him.

I grab a white t-shirt, my usual ripped jeans and white sneakers. I wear this almost everyday, but at least I know I'll be comfortable if I get a chance to see him again.

''I'm ready. Let's go.'' I speak as I open the door, my eyes meet Finn's brown eyes. 

''Finally.'' He smiles at me, grabbing my hand. ''New York is waiting,'' I smile back.

New York is waiting, but what about Bellamy?

*

We walked for hours. We visited many spots in the great city, I felt like a real tourist - well, I actually am. 

''Best ice cream in the world, huh?'' He asks me, with a smile in his face. 

I like Finn. He's always smiling and is always encouraging me to do everything. He doesn't let anyone give up and gives positive and inspirational speeches. He's a good guy. 

I met him two months ago. I was serving drinks and he approached me, asking if I talked english. After that I don't remember much, but he said he lived in New York and I automatically remembered Bellamy. 

I never forgot about him, but I sure tried. He was intriguing; in fact, in the first week without him I felt different. I felt tired, sad. I was grieving because I lost something I never had in the first place. But then the time flew by and soon enough my head was filled with other thoughts. I saw him on some magazines, though. He was spotted in different parts of New York with some girl. With many girls.

It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous how I talk badly about my parents' relationship in the beginning, when I'm almost doing the same.  

''I love this ice cream.'' I agree. ''I just want more and more.'' We both laugh. 

In the same night I met Finn, I told him about Bellamy. I told him that I had no idea how I could get over him; I told him how I tried to forget him by flirting with another guys, but it didn't work at all. And the worst part is, that I have no idea why I feel like this. Bellamy and I started talking just because; there was never a motive, we weren't destined. It wasn't faith.

But in that week, I felt alive. We talked and talked, we went to the beach and to the bar's rooftop and stayed all night there. We never even kissed, we were just two grown-ups acting like kids and venting.

''I'm just going to the bathroom, alright? I'll be right back.'' Finn says as he gets up, winking. I nod my head, grinning at him.

I'm not in love with Bellamy. I don't love him. I just miss him, I want to get to know him. 

''Stop!'' 

My thoughts were brutally interrupted by some girl giggling. She was a beautiful brunette with almond eyes and a glowing skin. 

''This is revenge, dear Em!'' 

A boy answers, giggling as well. He was tall, with messy curly hair.

''Babe, please!''

 She starts walking faster. A smile appears on my face; they were probably my age, yet they were acting like teenagers, playing in an ice cream parlor.

''Come here,''

The boy grabs her waist, kissing her.

''I'm  back. What did I miss?'' Finn sits on his chair.

''Nothing much. I was just looking at that sweet couple,'' I confess.

''I think you need a boyfriend, Clarke Griffin.''

''I think you're insane. I need no man.'' I roll my eyes, with an amusing smile.

''Yeah, yeah right. Let's get going, it's getting late.'' He looks at his watch.

''Of course.'' 

Finn grabs my hand and we walk to the door. As I hear the girl laughing once more, I look at them for the last time. 

And then it hits me.

''What is it, Clarke? What happened?'' Finn questions as he feels my hand squeezing his.

''N-nothing. Let's just go,'' I almost beg.

That couple wasn't just any couple. That Em wasn't just any Em. It was Emori Murphy, one of the greatest and biggest models nowadays. And that boy with her wasn't just a boy with messy curly hair. That boy was Bellamy. Bellamy Blake, the one I found in Spain.

''Hey, you look terrified. What happened? You can trust me.'' Finn tries to capture my attention. We were already outside the store; I was looking through the glass at him.

And when Bellamy's eyes meet mine, for the first time in eleven months, I'm not sure anymore of anything.